The bratty times

 You'd think I'd be used to getting texts involving my horse's exploits.  And yet, I still feel a bit embarrassed when I get texts about my horse doing things like throwing a fit and threatening to rear because he didn't get a cookie as fast as he wanted.  Or trying to bolt out of the arena because jumping 6" cavaletti are just too exciting.  Fall Theo is in full force and he's living his best life.

Theo.  THEO.  This is how you end up having your workload increased!

Sorry not sorry, mom

Yes, I sent Trainer Z a cookie bouquet because we both adore Theo but he is a freaking handful at certain times of the year.

Normally I would take this as a sign that he does not need help regulating his temperature but Trainer Z wants to take advantage of all that excess energy so that means it's time for a clip!  We're running a couple weeks later than usual since he's been in relatively light work as he builds up strength.  Which is also apparently causing some of the shenanigans?  So in the interest of Trainer Z being able to work Theo hard enough to actually find the bottom and bring his theatrics to an end, it's naked pony time.

So after running a 10k and before finishing up my final project for my first class in the doctorate program (because I'm an idiot), I drove up to visit mi papi and shear him like the feral yak he is.  Trainer Z was kind enough to give him a bubble bath the day before.  Theo was not impressed.

He just deflates when he gets a bath

But that meant I had a dry, mostly clean, mostly exercised pony to work with.  I'm not sure I'm doing the dressage horse owner thing correctly.  I mean I'm really good at writing checks but I thought it was supposed to be all fancy dancy.  I don't think it's supposed to include half a horse worth of hair up my nose and the other half down my bra.

Theo post clip, hanging out with his BFF Sparkle Pants.  Sparkle Pants is a very fancy young WB that's currently winning a lot at Second.

But it's done now and Trainer Z can commence with working the sass out of Theo.  He's back to feeling like a First Level horse in his balance and power which is great for 2.5 months of work.  He had enough muscle around his stifles to guide the lines of his clip!  Still hoping he'll be back to his Second level self by the new year.  Trainer Z is feeling confident and Theo is just gobbling up the consistent work.  I wasn't sure if he was going to want to get back to big boy work at his age but apparently, he can't get enough.  It won't be that much longer before he's back to working that half pass and those changes.  And the new indoor is so close to being done!

Theo's new very fancy show horse digs

Starting in November, Theo will be living the super fancy life.  He'll have a stall in that brand new arena/barn with a run out paddock and gossip doors.  The horses will even have skylights!  I suspect Theo's doors will end up shut because he's a bit destructive but we'll see.  He's on unlimited hay 24/7 so his chewing behaviors aren't too bad.  It also means that he'll be in full training straight through the winter since he doesn't even have to go outside to get to the arena.  Knowing him, he'll be out in his paddock straight through the winter.  Feral pony is feral.  But no more having to wade through knee deep snow to retrieve him and bring him in for his workouts!

There will be more pictures of the new digs after the new barn party in November.  But things are looking very up for Theo.  He's happy as a clam and Trainer Z is weathering the storm known as fall Theo with grace and humor.  Very glad I decided to send him to a trainer that specializes in toddler warmblood stallions.  That makes Theo the good kid on the roster.  Relatively speaking.

One month update

 Theo has been with Trainer Z for a month now and it's going as well as I could've hoped.  I went up to visit this weekend (and drop off supplements, fly spray, detangler for his ridiculous hair, and a new saddle pad that I couldn't resist in the tack shop).  He is happy as a clam in his run in with a younger gelding to play with over the fence.  He's also managed to mow down the grass around his paddock for several feet and I really need to get pictures of the gymnastics he uses to reach just a bit more grass.  Shoulder in?  Much to hard.  Kneeling to get all of his neck under the fence and reach grass?  No problem.

Hi mom!  They had to move part of the g

He's working 5 - 6 days a week.  Half the time on the lunge so Trainer Z can get him going forward, half the time under saddle.  Each week he looks a bit stronger and a bit more like his old self.  The stifle stumble is already gone and he's starting to offer more.  She even got to do a bit of shoulder in one day when he was feeling spicy.  He was tired quickly but he certainly remembers the fancy stuff.  As he gets stronger, he's offering more and more behaviors.

I had to laugh watching Trainer Z manage my beast.  He's 18, a bit of a school master, and knows how to have a negotiation.  Mount, sugar cube.  Start trotting like a western pleasure champion, cough three times, then start warming up like a dressage horse.  Once warm up is complete, walk, sugar cube, then he'll pick himself up for the real work.  Like he gets that sugar cube and immediately picks up his tummy.  He will NOT pick himself up until he's had a warm up, a walk, and a sugar cube.  That is the routine, so sayeth Theo.  Trainer Z has decided that it's definitely not a fight worth picking when he's so good about getting to work after his warm up.  He's just very set in his ways.

More potato vision but you get the idea

Full disclosure, the warm up habit is mine and I taught it to Theo.  I require 5 - 10 minutes of warm up before I can get to work, always have.  It takes that long to work through my various aches and pains and make my brain settle into the here and now.  At 18, Theo's got some stiffness to work through as well.  A clearly defined warm up is non-negotiable for either of us.

Most importantly, he looked happy.  The tail was swinging, the ears were soft, and the lip licking was pretty much constant.  There are issues with him trying to duck behind the contact as an evasion right now but that appears to be due to him getting tired quickly.  He's also crooked as the day is long but that's not exactly new.  It just hasn't been managed well for about a year.  His back is coming up and the dip in front of his withers is starting to fill in.  By spring, he should be back to being a very confident mid-level dressage horse.  He looks very comfortable now and is tracking up beautifully.  Canter is a bit lateral but we've got to have him near PSG fit to get that canter really clean.  Right now, it's all about muscle building and endurance.  

All braided up with nowhere to go

Since he's behaved himself, only busted loose on the lunge line once (caught Trainer Z off guard, he got a firm reminder on his manners afterward and didn't try it again), and has kept his protests below the level of the toddler stallions he lives with, he gets to stay indefinitely.  This is a huge relief to me.  Come spring when he's fit and ready to show off his tricks again, Trainer Z expects it will be easy to find him a leaser.  Just have to find someone with a sense of humor and pockets for sugar cubes.  He'll remain under Trainer Z's watchful eye hopefully until he's ready to fully retire and be a pasture potato.  He's had a lot of change in the last two years and I think it's time for him to settle in and have some consistency again.  

He's started nickering for Trainer Z when it's his turn to be worked.  Apparently he was very sullen and pouted when he had his ride time moved and thought he was skipped.  I think he's missed being a show pony.

Friends first

 The best part about sending Theo to Trainer Z is that she already knows him.  She was there the time Theo leapt straight up into the air and damn near cleared the warm up ring at GMHA.  She's watched him dance the dance of his people while learning his changes.  She's seen Theo at his absolute 'I don't want to be on this horse' worst.  Unlike a lot of other people that haven't seen that and think I'm exaggerating about the potential chaos with my lazy horse, she knows what he can do and respects the fact that he is actually quite athletic.  When he decides it's worth the caloric expenditure.

She also knows Theo as an individual.  He's a simple enough creature, he just needs to feel like things are fair and that he's going to be rewarded for hard work.  Hard work is fine so long as there are cookies involved.  Once he trusts his rider, he doesn't want to hurt them or drop them.  He'll at least try to keep them on top when he inevitably flips his lid.  Because Theo's gotta Theo.

Wisely, Trainer Z decided to spend her first 2 weeks with Theo just making friends.  She's been working him on the lunge every other day to work on him pushing back to front and getting him used to the fact that his vacation is over.  In the saddle it's been long, low, and leg yields with lots of rewards for effort.  It appears he remembers Trainer Z and associates her with good things.  And sugar cubes.

Unfortunately I did a lot of work desensitizing Theo to things on the ground like flags and whips.  Poor Trainer Z has discovered he has zero fear of the lunge whip.  This level of desensitization is great for assisting things like a piaffe or doing other ground work, a total pain for getting his out of shape keister back into work on the lunge.  Trainer Z is on Theo's trusted list so the biggest reaction she gets is a bit of a tail flick.  It sounds like he's been making her work very hard while lunging.

Potato vision screenshot from video sent to my phone but you can get the idea, mi papi is doing good work

She's going to start cantering under saddle this week.  Based on our previous five falls spent together, she's got about four weeks to get him on a regular schedule before Theo's patented equinox flailing time begins.  That's when the heat breaks and he loses his marbles for about a week before settling back into being his usual self.  

For now, he's settled in like he's always been there.  He loves his paddock and run in with company all around and all day hay.  He has been very good for grooming and bath time because he does love his pampering.  He's already getting his grain upped as he starts to rebuild that muscle.  He's gotten used to the outdoor ring and no longer thinks that the various buildings and log walls are full of aliens looking to abduct him.  He wears his embarrassing giraffe fly sheet even though the other stallions can see him.  I can hear him whining 'MOOOOM' all the way at my house.  

Since most of Trainer Z's dance card right now includes 3 - 5 year old warmbloods (including two toddler stallions) getting started in their high end dressage careers, I suspect Theo is a nice break in her day.  After several very athletic babies, having a senior citizen that already knows the moves and would rather take a break at any opportunity should be a nice change of pace.  Fingers crossed that Theo doesn't decide to show all those babies how it's really done once the heat breaks.

Silver lining

 Yes, sending Theo off to be someone else's dressage partner has been hard, but I'm trying to find the silver lining.  I'm still a horse mom and I still get to do the fun stuff like embarrassing my horse and spending hours making him beautiful.  

Poor pony suffering through a spa day

In some ways I get to be his favorite person.  I can't ask for anything hard in the saddle so it's all about the lazy and the cookies.  There's a lot to be said for being the favorite person.  

And Theo is just as happy with one partner or another.  No, he's not a horse that bonds with people quickly, but he's now very confident that he's going to be treated fairly and rewarded for his work.  I've read that horses can remember people for seven years.  Theo's memories of BC (before Catie) are getting awfully fuzzy at this point.  He's a show horse through and through now, a respected and loved dressage horse that knows the moves and people consider a pleasure to ride.  He'll be happy to have an outlet for his busy mind and a chance to be big and powerful.

When people try to make Theo little is when Theo explodes.  I know better than to try to make him little.  Little is not safe when dealing with Theo.

He has a paddock with brand new sand footing thanks to our ridiculous weather.  Flash floods again last night!  But not a problem with his lovely new run in shed and sand paddock.

New digs!

Trainer Z's outdoor ring is lovely and drains really well.  Her indoor is well underway and should be done for this fall.  At that point Theo will have a stall attached to the arena with a run out.  Or he'll be such a heathen that he has to stay out in the run ins with Trainer Z's stallions.  Could go either way.  Theo acts a bit more like a toddler stallion than any 18 year old should . . . 

Tomorrow morning he gets to work with Trainer Z.  The plan is three months of just fitness, getting his topline back and rebuilding all of that hunky muscle.  Then Trainer Z can spend a couple months figuring out where he's at and if he's interested in doing the hard work again.  At six months we'll revisit and come up with a plan for the spring.  Once he's back in work he will probably meet some potential dance partners but no rush or pressure on that.  Right now it's all about getting him fit and making sure he's happy and ready to get back to his big boy work.

As for me?  I'm already scheduled to come visit at the end of August and spectate as Trainer Z rides.  Once he's back in work and I get the green light that he's safe?

LESSONS FOR CATIE

Probably walk trot lessons but they will be damn fancy walk trot lessons.  It gives me something to look forward to as I shift to life as a dressage horse owner instead of a dressage rider.  I'll be one of those owners that only rides supervised and has the trainer warm up their horse but screw it.  Couldn't be a bronc rider forever.

Acceptance and moving forward

 I've already found my limit for riding.  I sat canter a bit too long and the next day?  I felt awful.  Numbness in my left fingers, seizing muscles all around my neck and shoulders, the works.  Forty minutes and sitting the canter is my limit?  That hurts.  That hurts a lot.  I can't do anything with riding limits like that!  I mean, I could go out for a trail ride but that's not where I want to be and it's so hard for me to make myself stop.  In the moment everything feels fine but the next day, my body is certainly letting me know that it can't cope with that amount of force and movement through my spine.  It's proving very, very difficult for me to ride within these new limitations when I know Theo needs more.  I want to work through something, make progress, but there's just not enough time.  Especially when I'm riding so infrequently.

Also discovered I can't ride this beauty for more than a couple hours without repercussions the next day, wonky discs suck

Theo is off to Trainer Z at the end of the month.  Not to be rehabbed but to finish getting back into shape and potentially meet new dance partners.  She's got a spot with a run in opening up and she's starting construction on her own indoor.  She's got riders looking for a lease and Theo could become a Third Level horse with some fitness and polish.  I would love to show up to shows next season in my big hat and cheer him on.  I would also love to split his bills with someone.  Love that horse but he ain't cheap.

Trainer Z also offered a spot if he needs to become a pasture pet so he doesn't have to move all over New Hampshire.  I almost cried.  It's a chance for Theo to have just one more move and live with someone that really cares for him.  I will visit and take some lessons when I feel good but it won't be my job to fight the good fight.  If it's cold and my neck hurts, I don't have to go to the barn.  That will be Trainer Z followed by whoever she picks out as Theo's partner.  I'll just show up, have fun, and go on my way.  

This setup I can ride all day and be fine, I did a five hour ride with no problems.  Victory!  I look dorky but victory!

It's chaotic right now and it will be expensive sending him off for training but Theo's been enjoying his return to work.  He respects and more importantly likes Trainer Z.  He'll appreciate a trained seat and hands while he learns the big boy moves.  I'll appreciate being able to totally sign off on managing his work schedule.  

Part of me is heart broken that I've already found my limit.  I can't show if I've only got 40 minutes of riding in me.  Maybe it'll get better if he's stronger over his topline but I rather doubt it.  He'll get bouncier, not smoother.  Maybe if I get stronger?  I don't know.  But this time I know it's coming so I can face it and process it.  I'll be selling my jumping and western dressage tack.  They're just collecting dust.  Anyone want a Frank Baines Evolution or a Harmony western dressage saddle?  All of his dressage gear will head north with him even though I know Trainer Z's saddle fits him and she won't be using his saddle.  Better safe than sorry.

Don't tell the neurologist about this outing

I've given notice to the current barn.  I'll always be grateful to them for giving us a place to land and giving Theo the opportunity to settle after . . . whatever was going on.  His teenager is off to college this fall so this is only a little earlier than she was expecting.  Legs's owner just picked up a new mare so her dance card is very full.  I start orientation Aug 9 for my DBA program.  It's kind of the perfect time for Theo to quietly slip away to go be a professionally trained horse.  

I'll sneak in a few extra rides while I can.  And Trainer Z is down for me to come up for lessons where I'm the busted adult ammy owner that wants to play pretend.  I have nothing to prove, I paid my dues and rode the big bucks.  We both know I'm not a wimp, I'm just busted.  I have limited miles and I want those miles to be the fun parts.  Maybe I'll ask to ride her Grand Prix stallion Muffin and see what a piaffe feels like . . . 

With lots and lots of Advil, of course.

And then?

 I've spent the last few weeks trying to just get stuff settled into a sustainable pattern.  Shoes, supplements, stabling, training, all of it.  And I seem to be just about done with that.  Theo is working regularly, all of his needs are being met, and he is on his way to being fit again.  I'm riding part time and enjoying it.

He's so darn pretty

And then?

That's kind of the trick question right now.  As emergency mode fades away and I start to think long term I stall out.  What the heck am I going to do with Theo long term?  What makes sense for us?  I need him to be happy and well but I also need to consider how this will work for me.  I just got accepted to a doctorate program.  I didn't think I'd have a horse in my life so I intended to continue my education.  Awkward.

There's also the part where I can't do a lot of things.  I know from experience that a fit Theo that's doing big boy work can be a handful.  I distinctly remember him dancing the dance of his people around the ring while learning his changes.  Opening that can of worms is a non-starter for me.  Once he's learned something he totally doesn't care but I certainly can't be the one to teach him this stuff.  I need all four on the floor.  And let's be honest, his collected trot is a nightmare to sit even for people that actually have discs between their vertebrae.  

Theo has opinions about my bouncing during his trot

I'm too goal oriented to just show up, brush the pony, and ride around the arena.  I need to have something to work on, a goal to measure our progress, lessons, structure, all of that.  My old goal was the Bronze but the chances of me sitting the trot work in a Third Level test?  Pretty dang low.  My body may surprise me and from what I understand of my situation, technique may save the day.  It's all about minimizing the compressive forces.  But reality is that I'm not going to be working a mid-level dressage horse full time if I want to have a functioning neck 10 years from now.

Western dressage is good for keeping Theo chill and his collected jog is actually comfy to sit.  Not that I've tried it yet but even when I couldn't sit in my dressage tests I could sit his jog.  That could be a solution.  I'd still need to get a change on him but that would be a small change, more like a swap that you see in reining.  A bigger change would be even better but a small one might be easier for me to cope with these days.  Western dressage could give me something to work toward, I still haven't ridden a Level 3 test.  

Being the weirdo even at the dressage barn

It comes down to my time and my body's ability to take abuse.  Both are in shorter supply these days and it wouldn't be fair to either of us for me to take Theo on full time.  I love having him near me and riding 2-3 times a week but I already know that he won't have another partner after August.  I have to plan ahead for when his teen goes to college and it's just me.  He won't be safe for me over the winter with just a couple rides a week.  I'm going to need to find him a second rider.

Hacking out with his new friend

I'm currently thinking that I'll be one of those posts on social media asking the local horse groups if anyone wants a half lease on an experienced dressage horse.  I have to accept the fact that I can't do this on my own and I need to find someone else to help me keep him in work.  Ideally, someone that wants to be his primary partner and just accept that this middle aged ammy with a wonky neck likes to ride sometimes when he's feeling lazy.  They can focus on dressage and show him as far as they can go while I jog about on my riding days and maybe, just maybe, go to the occasional show.

Theo thinks that sounds suspiciously like work

He's very happy now with his teenager, my friend, and me giving him attention.  He's doing once a week lessons with a local dressage trainer and putting muscle back on.  Everyone is on the same page and working on making him less lazy and more fit.  He'll be back to being a real dressage horse by fall.  And then we start hunting for a new dance partner for him.

New friends

 While Theo and I were away, the barn changed a lot.  The name changed, the owner changed, and the clientele changed.  It used to be primarily h/j with me as the one weird DQ and my friend as the one weird eventer.  Weekly lessons with the resident h/j trainer were required.  

Nowadays there's no resident trainer, everyone is pretty much doing their own thing.  Several trainers are coming in to teach and Trainer Z is on the list of trainers that can come and give lessons.  Almost all of the riders are dressage focused.  I don't know how it happened but the barn is now a dressage barn without actually saying anywhere that it's a dressage barn.  How do I know?  When I dropped off Theo, two ladies were discussing whether or not someone should stay at Second considering she just barely squeaked a 60% in Second 1 and that was with an infamously generous judge.  Yeah, these are my people.  One of the riders is working on her Second level freestyle so they have a Bluetooth speaker set up in the indoor so she can work on movements while controlling the music from her phone.

Of course I'm weird for a dressage rider since I have zero focus in disciplines but at least I'm not the weirdo with the strange equipment anymore.  When my double arrived with the h/j riders, everyone was confused and fascinated by having two bits.  What the heck is that for?  Do two bits even fit in one mouth?  When I was unpacking last weekend and put Theo's double away with the dressage crew hanging out in the tack room, the reaction was quite different.  First the conversation in the room actually paused as everyone noted that the new horse has a double.  Then came the questions like 'sooooo what's his story?'.  It's wasn't about what the heck is that bridle for, they already knew that.  A double means one of two things:  I'm utterly clueless and over bridling my horse or my horse is further along than they thought based on him standing in a paddock or plopping around on the lunge line.

He can dressage, we promise

The double is actually here in case he decides to test my left shoulder like he does about once every six months.  We'll just nip that kind of behavior in the bud these days, kthx.  One ride with a curb will usually end that conversation rather than letting it escalate.  Safety is important these days and an emergency brake system is a lovely piece of safety equipment.  He sure as hell isn't fit enough to actually work in it.  Neither am I, for that matter.  But I'm finding myself thinking about 'one day'.  One day he'll be working his changes and need the extra refinement.  I won't be the one in the saddle but might as well have all his equipment standing by.

It's not a group of fancy dancy dressage horses, they're mostly stock horse types that are transitioning over from other jobs as their owners decide to focus on dressage.  There's a pair of OTTBs that are learning the low level dressage ropes.  Lots of First and Second level with one working on Fourth.  Theo is still one of the taller ones so you know there's not a lot of WBs trotting around.  Legs is still the fanciest thing in the barn but then again Legs would be the fanciest thing in a lot of barns.

Good gravy, mare

The new crowd has opened up some new opportunities.  No one is looking for a ploppy cross rails partner this time.  With the usual 'so and so is hurt' going on, there's a couple riders looking to get in some saddle time and having an experienced dressage horse drop in has caught their attention. Theo got to meet a potential new friend in the form of a teenager that had her lease horse go lame just as summer was getting started.  You know, like they do.  

As far as meet and greets go, it was perfect.  I insisted she lunge first because he got a day off.  It was . . . uneventful.

So, so very wild.  And the ride was just as uneventful.  After about two minutes I put my little roller spurs on her so Theo would actually trot on.  She walked, trotted, cantered, did some little leg yields, and even tried out his walk to canter once so she could get a feel for how he's different than the other horses she's ridden.

Theo quite liked her eagerness to tell him he's clever, pet him, and stuff treats in his face.  I like the fact she's got soft hands and a quiet seat.  She's in regular lessons with a respected dressage trainer so it works out well.  She has a horse to lesson on that can show her the ropes and Theo has someone that will dote on him and ride him in a correct way.  She is a First Level rider and Theo is perfect for that right now.  He's very solid at that level and can let her try out some of the fun tricks at Second over the summer.

I'm really enjoying not being the lone weirdo for once.  I will enjoy this summer surrounded by similar weirdos.

Serviceably sound

 I had a consultation with my chiro that I see every week for treatment.  After the neurologist blew me off with zero answers I've been relying on her to help me deal with this situation without going straight to surgery.  She's armed with x-rays (has her own machine) and my MRI.  She's also been treating me for over a year and tracking the changes in my posture and symmetry.  I get pictures taken every 3 months to evaluate progress and I always, inevitably, wear something very unflattering.  I will not be sharing.

If I were a horse, my injuries would be called 'old, cold, and set'.  I have bony changes in my neck, sad wonky discs, and the remnants of at least one traumatic event in my soft tissues (probably more, let's be honest, I've been riding a long time).  I would not pass a vet check and sure as hell would look lame after a flex test.  Range of motion in my neck is diminished and I would struggle with collected work.  But, following the analogy, there's no reason to put this old campaigner out to pasture just yet.  I need maintenance and a thoughtful training plan but I'm serviceably sound.  I just have to make good life choices and listen if my body says that it's too much.  I'll be looking to get a PT referral from my primary care to help me strengthen my neck and core.  I need to be careful but this is more degenerative than acute.  Which isn't good but hey, take what I can get?

via GIPHY

Things look better than they did a year ago.  What's left is the stuff that isn't going away.  We're actually right on time for our goal of letting me try to ride again to see how my body does after a year of treatment without regularly beating it up.  It's not going the way I expected but hey, horses never go the way we expect.  As my chiro said, I'm no longer at an increased risk of paralysis so I might as well live my life.  I know the risks.

Twice a week rides is my current goal, starting at 20 minutes in the saddle and working up from there if it goes well.  No jumping.  No sitting trot.  Those are important and part of the agreement between me and my chiro.  There will be lunging or someone else getting on him before each ride until he's settled into his program again and even then it might continue.  That one is the agreement with my husband.  

I rode for 20 minutes last night after my friend worked him for 15.  10 minutes walking, 10 minutes rising trot.  I felt fine this morning outside of some rarely used muscles being tight.  It's going to be hard to not over do it since it feels like coming home.  It took about 2 minutes for me to go from 'oh my gosh I'm riding' to 'dude, this is my left leg, get off of it'.  Theo is about as out of shape as me so he was being a bit peevish about having to go correctly.  And having a second rider get on when he'd just finished having to do canter transitions with the first one!  He started to curl and get behind the bridle while stomping his feet.  Ah, yes, memories.  Kick, kick, kick the pony and get him back out in front of my leg while giving him a nice long rein so he can stretch.  He blew through his nose a couple times once he relaxed and I knew we were good again.  And then my Fitbit alarm went off and I realized my time was up already.  UGH!

My friend was watching and commented 'you ride him better than me'.  What can I say, Theo is not your typical dressage pony and I've invested a lot of years into getting him unlocked.  

Fancy, fancy pony

So we have a plan.  6 days a week is the goal for Theo, 2 days a week is the goal for me.  It's going to take a lot of help to get us back in action but help is coming.  My friend has volunteered for the weekend shifts and Theo has a meet and greet on Thursday with a teen looking for a ride this summer.  With three of us coordinating around his schedule, my gorgeous, wonderful asshole of a horse should be getting all the love and exercise he needs.  And so long as he's getting what he needs, he can play school master for his mommy while she sees what her body is up for.

Perfect

 It's been a month since I got word that my horse's behavior had gotten so bad that he was considered a liability and had to leave.  He couldn't be used for the lesson program because he was bucking kids off and bucking with the trainer.  Today, my brave friend swung into the saddle to check out what is going on.  We set her up for success with days of consistent lunging work and starting out today with 10 minutes on the lunge line.  My friend saw him trotting around on the lunge like a lead line pony and got on with zero concerns.

Somebody thinks they're fancy

Turns out she was right.  Theo didn't put a foot wrong.  He tested her, of course.  He wanted to see if she was serious about him traveling with his haunches in the same zip code as his shoulders.  Once he was done testing, I swear that pony was genuinely happy to get back to work.  He licked his lips, arched his neck, and worked his overweight booty off.  He's barely First Level fit but he at least offered the behaviors and looked very pleased with himself.

This was him at the end of his work out when I finally took a breath and realized he wasn't going to spontaneously transform into some sort of demon.  As my friend reminded me, I let her borrow Theo when she was recovering from surgery because he was so safe.  He's getting daily attention and spending 24/7 outside.  Apparently that's all he needed.

We've got a lot of work to do.  He's weak over his topline and in his hind end.  Not a surprise.  His old stifle stumble is back so we know where to start.  Transitions and pole work for days.  He looks surprisingly sound considering he's been off all of his supplements and shod wrong behind.  Give him a couple weeks of consistent, quality work on nice footing with his good shoes and I think his hind end will look much better.

I found out Trainer Z is going to be visiting a lot this summer since there's a lady that needs a lot of help with her horse.  Score!  We'll see what I can arrange.  My friend may ride him, I may ask Trainer Z to ride him, maybe I'll even take a lesson.  After all, I did get on him today.

Once he'd been worked for about 40 minutes, I put on my helmet and got on for a couple minutes.  He's always been good about taking care of me when I'm not at my best and today was no exception.  He trotted around like an old school pony while I tried out posting.  It felt fine so next time I may actually put on my breeches and ride for more than two minutes.  Baby steps.

I don't know where this is going to go but I did dig out my riding clothes that I'd bagged with the intent of giving them away.  After observing Theo's ride today, I've actually got several volunteers that want to help keep him in 6 days a week work.  If he's going to be getting six rides a week from experienced dressage riders, Good Theo may be here to stay and Good Theo?  That's a horse I can ride even with my diagnosis.

Fingers crossed but my summer is starting to look a lot more horse-centered. 

Quality time

It's really weird being the one coming back from injury.  Usually it's the equine that's coming back from time off.  This time it's me taking baby steps because I'm not 100% sure how my body is going to respond.  Theo is totally fine and ready to work.  His mom?  Not so much.  I was limping a bit after a 5k on Sunday where I over did it and my upper back was all tight and unhappy.  I did not want to be dragged around by a bucking bronco but the vet wants him getting consistent movement to help with the circulation in his sheath.  Sigh.  Vet's orders, Theo, you've got to move that body.

I'm starting to get back into my routine.  After work, I buzzed out to the barn.  I spent some quality time getting his mane and tail back in order.  His mane needed to be up in braids before he did any work to prevent overheating and his tail was actually touching the ground.  Not ideal for ground work where he'll back up repeatedly.  His tail was a tangled mess but with enough Eco-licious and patience I got the whole thing brushed out and trimmed to a respectable sport horse length.  He got dressed up in a surcingle, full boots, and a snaffle headstall.  

I noticed a shift as soon as I put his bridle on.  He was fussing at his bit and being a bit impatient where he'd been almost asleep before.  I took him to the arena and walked him in hand while some other riders were finishing up.  It gave me time to make sure his brakes were fully installed and his attention was on me.  At first he was being pushy and impatient but as nothing interesting happened, he settled in.  I popped him on the lunge to verify the verbal commands were still in place.  We had a very boring ten minutes of trotting with some canter mixed in.

Super clever dressage pony is proud of himself for 10 minutes of work and only tripping once

He looked good in his body.  With a bit of coaxing he dropped his head for a good stretch over his topline while trotting.  Next time I'll pop on the Vienna reins to see if we can get him really working over that back.  I was pleasantly surprised to see him tracking up at the walk and picking up his hinds in the trot.  He's definitely got some extra energy in the tank right now.  I didn't get to see his right side since that's the side he bolts on and I wanted to end with a calm, positive experience to build on.  For both of us.

Overall we worked for about 40 minutes with manners and getting him settled into working mode.  I know the land porpoise is lurking under the surface and I had his side reins on to keep him from being able to really get creative if he decided to bolt.  Just a little head shake and some tail flicks this time.  I was grateful.  He got cookies for being such a good boy and following all of my commands promptly, then he went into the wash stall to have his still rather swollen junk cold hosed.  He did not like that much.

RUDE!

This was his expression and pose for most of that 20 minutes while he tried to figure out why I was hitting him in such a rude spot with cold water.  Poor baby.  It did look much better after 40 minutes of power walking/trotting and some cold hosing.  He's also getting 1g of bute a day to help things along.  The barn owner is hosing him for me today so I can get caught up on work from the past two days.

Theo seems delighted with all of the attention, even the cold water bits.  He's the new horse in the barn so everyone wants to stop and say hi, give him a pet, and coo over how pretty he is.  He has almost immediately gone back to his habit of reaching out to touch anyone that passes within range of him.  Just to make sure they know he's there and available for ear scritches.  All reports are that he is being a complete gentleman in his paddock and when he's brought in for things like vet checks.  It's like he never left.

I'm going to try to coordinate so that he can have someone on him by this weekend.  He's in decent shape and if I can get the bucks out of him, he should be ready for an advanced rider to figure out just what we're dealing with.  But how do you ask a friend to get on a horse that is 90% likely to rip some big bucks and bolt?  Hm.  I may need to get some bribery supplies.

Reboot

 I love my farrier.  When I saw that Theo didn't have back shoes, I shot him a text and begged him to squeeze Theo in.  Today Theo got his new dancing shoes.  When I asked why he didn't get hind shoes before, Trainer D asked the old farrier and was told Theo didn't have hind shoes when he arrived.

I just . . . yeah, I'm going to go sit down now.  Both of them swear Theo showed up with no hinds.  Which is crazy since Theo burns through hinds faster than fronts so he has to wear hind shoes.  Which also means he's probably been in fronts only since August 2020.  Great.  I'm sure that's been fantastic for his hind end.

My farrier also found marks from him blowing out an abscess on his left hind, probably over the winter.  Which no one seems to recall seeing.  He was last shod around Feb 10.  Yeah, you read that right.  Look at those underrun heels.  I'm over here rubbing my temples and trying to figure out why people seem to think I'm an overreactive owner when my horse went about 10 weeks without getting shod and 9 months with no back shoes.  And no one told me because apparently he showed up like that?

That's not what they're supposed to look like

Anyway.

New shoes are on and the farrier should be able to get his hind feet back in balance with the next trim.  Right now his shoes are providing the support and protection so the outside wall of his hinds can catch up with the rest of his foot.  Which should make him a lot more comfortable behind.  I can't imagine what his hips have felt like.  I know how I feel when I don't have the right shoes for running, I'd probably buck too.  And that's without an abscess.  He's cleared to go back to work but everyone is keeping an eye on him because changing angles on the back end may make him more sore before he feels better.  The abscess appears to be done and doesn't need anything done to it, just a mark on his hoof to show where it blew out.

I slathered his junk with his special ointment, I'll spare everyone pictures.  The swelling is already starting to go down.  Everyone swears it wasn't swollen when they last saw him so it somehow magically blew up just before I picked him up.  Since he was kept in that day it's possible (apparently there was an emergency that day and no horses went out?).  He's being good about getting his swollen bits cleaned and treated so at least it's not a circus dealing with it.

I did my shopping and got him a new halter, new brushes, new boots, new fly mask, and a new fly sheet.  With giraffes on it.  It made my day better.

If you're not embarrassing your horse, are you moming them enough?

I didn't get to lunge him today as planned since I burned all of my horse time getting him sorted out.  I had to miss a half day at work to meet with the farrier and get his new fly gear and slather yellow goo on his junk after giving it a quick wash.  Lunging will have to start tomorrow.  He seems quite happy in his paddock so at least he's getting some time to relax and just be a horse.  We'll see how the lunging goes after his couple of chill days.  I'm hoping for lazy.  Really, really hoping for lazy.

Not okay

 New tires on the trailer?  Check.

All the updates on the truck?  Check.

Indignant rage about my horse's lack of care?  Check.

Chunky monkey on the trailer?  Check.

What did you call me?

I'm sorry, I draw the line when I hear that my horse's shoes were not done on time.  What?  WHAT?!  I couldn't get there to pick him up fast enough.  Don't work him, fine, but his damn feet will be done on time.  I might still be angry about that revelation.  Just a bit.  And when I picked him up I discovered that someone decided he didn't need back shoes.  Which answers the question as to whether or not he's been in work.  Theo's feet don't hold up under work without shoes.  Theo's farrier should see him on Monday to fix this.  Also his sheath is about the size of my head and has marks from him biting it.  Ready for pictures of my horse's junk?  Because it's that time.

Horse ownership is frequently taking pictures of your horse's junk to share with others

This is not okay.  This is NOT OKAY.  I tried to tell myself it was okay, that someone would miss that or that it was because he was in a stall today, but even my husband says that it's not okay and he only knows how to pick out feet.

All those nice brushes from Haas that I collected?  Gone, disappeared into the school horse program I'm sure.  The important items were found, I have my saddles and bridles back.  Judging by the SHAVINGS stuck to my horse's girth, he's been worked without even being groomed properly.  They did body clip him this week so he looks pretty good in that respect but his tail is going to take me a couple hours to fix.

At least his lovely mane has been left alone so I don't have to start over

When I went to pick him up he was inside on a beautiful day, just like all of the other horses.  I have no idea why.  He saw me and the trailer and started whickering and dancing around in his stall.  Someone thought he was on his way to a show.  I had my gloves, a chain shank, and my dressage whip just to be sure.  All the reports were that Theo has been almost dangerous to handle so I went in expecting the worst.  I opened his door and he pushed forward.  I said 'Back up!' and he did.  I held out his halter and he put his head in it.  He wanted out of that damn stall.  I walked him out and he was a total gentleman.   Up on his toes but respecting the lead.  I walked him to the trailer, said 'Uppie uppie', and he walked on like the old pro he is.  I just . . . . huh?

His new paddock is pretty much the same one he left last summer.  I turned him out expecting some dramatics but it was so anti-climactic.  He said hi to the horse next to him, rolled about 10 times, and then got to work on his hay.  I got an update at 7pm and he was still happily working on his haynet.  Out of control?  A liability?  Not so much.  He just wanted out of that damn stall.

Fresh air, sand to roll in, and a full haynet.  Theo's definition of heaven.

I don't know what I'm going to do with him but he's back.  There's a lot of emotions going on.  I'm happy to have my boy back.  Let's face it, our bond isn't based on his good behavior.  The fact he can be an absolute ass is part of his charm.  I am happy to have him back to visit, to groom, to fuss over.  I spent quite a bit of time just rubbing his ears and scratching his crest.  He was so happy for the cuddles.

I am an absolute ball of rage about the lack of care he's experienced.  I understand that I am a bit extreme in terms of my horse's care but I thought I was leaving him with someone that would advocate for him.  Turns out I was wrong.  No one was advocating for him.  When he was less than useful, he was pushed aside and forgotten.  No one tried to figure out what was wrong or even let me know that things had gone wrong.  I feel gullible and betrayed because I truly thought he was going to have a great opportunity and trusted that everyone had his best interests in mind.  But, as my bestie said, hindsight is 20/20.  I had no reason to believe there was a problem.  

Rage aside, I need to get him back to work and that's very intimidating right now.  He seems to be very much himself, just bored and desperate for attention.  But I have to be very careful.  I will not be the first on him.  He needs to be back in regular work and content to be his lazy self before I can take the risk.  I really am itching to get in the saddle but I have to be smart about this.

First I get to go shopping.  I have a bunch of credit saved up from consignment sales and I didn't use them during the pandemic.  His leather halter is currently held together with a loop of baling twine and he doesn't have a fly mask.  He needs those and I can go buy all the fly spray and things I need.  I'll be looking for a caveson to use for lunging since I'll be doing a lot of ground work.  I've always wanted to teach him to ground drive and this seems to be the right time.  I can make him tired while not putting myself in danger of getting launched this way.  Even if he's not tired, I need to get him back into the pattern of being tacked up, heading to the arena, and doing a job.  

He's back and I can't say I'll be eager to let him out of my sight again any time soon.  Once bitten, twice shy.

Will I, won't I

 My husband suggested I sell Theo since it's been over a year since I last rode.  What's the point of paying for a horse that I don't ride and don't even visit?  I burst into tears and said I don't visit because if I do, I will get on and ride.  Well, he's coming home.  Now what?

Part of me is excited.  My pony is coming home!  I can brush out his ridiculous tail and dress him up all matchy matchy.  I had him 1.5 hours away to keep me from being tempted but that is going away.  While I have a lot of things that will be disrupted and upset by this, including potentially my health, I would be lying if I said no part of me was happy that Theo is coming home.  But that's the danger.  It's so easy for me to just slip back into old patterns with no real concern for the risk.  Humans are so good at rationalizing things they want.

I'm at increased risk.  No, it's not as bad as the neurologist was telling me and simple chiropractic care has brought the tic and the pain completely under control.  The pressure on my spine has been relieved and the curve of my neck has been changed.  Chiro didn't seem bothered by me riding but didn't want to see me getting thrown around (like, say, a horse bolting on the lunge line like a certain gorgeous beast likes to do).  But all of this improvement has happened without the trauma of horse back riding and the discs are still going to react badly to me being lawn darted.  And there's the collection of blows to the head I've had.  I'm not a twenty-something any more.  I don't bounce.  It's not the sport that's changed but me.

It's different now because I know I'm fragile and I know my horse has a mother of a spin.  Pretty big buck, too.  He's 17 now but showing no signs of slowing down.

From his Coggins, he has so many grey hairs on his head that they have officially added a star to his markings

My husband is not happy.  Neither is mom.  They don't want me to get on Theo right now. It's a fair request.  I'm still struggling with getting in contact with any barns.  The few that have replied have all been full.  I'm visiting a place this afternoon (the place he was at last summer) so I'm hopeful.  I've got two friends that are very experienced horse people there to help remind Theo of the rules of ground manners.  One is looking for a ride while her horse is recovering from an injury (Dorkzilla and Legs's owner) and she's sat far, far worse than Theo can dish out.  Premium WB mares have mad skills.  We could potentially get him less feral and still send him off to Trainer Z when she has a spot.

I love this horse too much to just dump him as a cheap sale.  Would I free lease him to an experienced dressage rider with a trainer I know?  In a heartbeat.  A little polish and he could go right back to being a Second Level horse that is knocking on the door to Third.  But people aren't looking for horses like Theo that require very regular work and still only get 5.5 or 6 for a medium.  And don't have a consistent change.  Even as a free lease, there's no market for him.  Hard pill to swallow but there it is.  He has no value outside of what I see in him.  People looking for mid-level dressage don't want to deal with a horse that occasionally does his impression of a land porpoise unless they're getting amazing scores.  His scores are good, not amazing.

As my husband said, Theo has the attitude and behaviors of an upper level horse and needs an upper level rider.  But he doesn't have the scores to support an upper level rider's ambitions.  Go figure.

Will I go back to riding?  I don't know yet.  This sudden change is still settling into my brain.  I want to ride him but I have to be smart about it. Either way I'm getting my truck and trailer ready to go pick him up.  Truck needed $3k of work, go figure.  New tires are on the way for the trailer.  Theo's spring shots and Coggins are already done and the paperwork is in hand.  Come May, I will be managing the most amazing tail in the region.  What the rest of the horse is going to be doing?  Who knows.  But come the heat of July when he doesn't even want to move, you might find me sitting in the saddle again.

A New Hope

 Trying to find boarding in April/May is complete balls.  It's so bad.  Everything is completely booked up, anyone with any chance of dealing with a bronc has a full dance card.  I'm starting to think putting Theo in my garage may be the solution.  Everyone keeps saying 'it can't be that bad, let me ask so and so' and then finding out yes, it really is that bad.  Spring is when people bring their horses in from having a winter off.  Everyone wants to knock off the rust and get show ring ready.

I wouldn't wish barn shopping in April on anyone.  

With no training options and very little in the way of arenas available, the reality is that Theo will not be going back into work when I get him.  He'll be sitting in a pasture getting fat and lazy.  My hubby so politely requested I not go get on the bronc when my chiro is still not happy with my C7.  It seems a reasonable request.  So with a lot of tears I realized that Theo was going to be parked in a field and do nothing.  At 17, he was done for no reason other than bad timing and the wonky discs in my neck.

Then Trainer Z reached out to me.  She doesn't have a spot now but she will this summer and she knows what she's getting into.  She's seen first hand the heights Theo can reach in his temper tantrums.  Heck, she might even be able to finish installing that flying change once he's back in shape.  I certainly wouldn't mind Theo becoming a Third Level horse.  One day he might be old enough and sane enough for me to safely get on, it would be cool if he had all the moves installed.

The current plan is to park him in a field starting in May and leave him to just be a horse until Trainer Z has a spot, probably in July.  A couple months off will probably settle his squishy little brain.  Trainer Z also thinks that being less fit is a good idea.  Considering how high he can get up in the air when he's fit?  Yeah, I can see why she'd want that.

The last time Trainer Z got on Theo

I'm still struggling to find a field for him.  Why do barn owners not return communication?  Like at all?  There's a barn about 7 minutes from me that has pasture board and it would be perfect.  We've traded emails, she wants to talk on the phone.  I hope so. I really hope so.

If Theo lives in my garage, that means I don't have to mow my yard . . . 

Reversion complete

 Oh hey, who thought you'd see something from me?

I got the dreaded but somewhat expected email today:  30 days for Theo to vacate.  Papi has been out from under my thumb for almost a year and the 'behaviors' have become a problem.  He bucked off some kids this winter and got pulled from the lesson program.  Since then he's started damaging the stall and bolting with people on the ground.  He's bolting with the trainer in the saddle and has had multiple sessions with the behavioral expert on the ground.  The ground sessions are not sticking.  He knows what he's doing and knows it will work.  He's only getting about 3 days a week 

He's got their number and he's reverted to old Theo completely.

I have 30 days to find him a new boarding situation and step back into my role of completely managing him.  Which is EXACTLY what I was trying to not do.  I now have a dangerous, bolting horse that needs to be put back into regular work.  I will be getting dragged around and probably thrown off while fixing what's happened.  But I can't let him continue to be a dangerous horse.  He's starting to mow down people on the ground.  My chiro has my neck pain and symptoms under control but I don't know how well that is going to hold up when dealing with Theo bolting and dragging.  To say nothing about spinning, bolting, and bucking if I'm in the saddle.

The scramble is on to find a place that will accept him and for me to get a plan together to get him back into work.  Hopefully without finishing off my neck.  Thank goodness the warmer weather is coming and I'll have a fighting chance.  But I haven't been in the saddle in a year.  I'm not even in shape for this.  I've been riding my bike a lot but that's not the same muscles.  I am very genuinely concerned that I won't be able to manage this without injury.

Ideally I can land him with a trainer that can handle him for a month to get through the worst of it.  Trainer Z would be my first choice but it's spring and show season is coming on fast.  I doubt she has a space.  She manages WB stallions and knows Theo well enough that he recognizes her voice.  His antics wouldn't rattle her a bit and Theo associates her with serious business time.  If that isn't an option, there's a facility that I know that offers training for horses with behavioral issues.  They're more working equitation and western dressage focused.  That could be an option if, again, they have a spot.

I had a non-horsey summer all planned out with biking events on the weekends since I get my second vaccine shot on the 20th.  I'd even considered starting a doctorates in the fall.  All of that is now being thrown out the window.  I gave them a very nice show horse, I'm getting back a monster.  I'm absolutely pissed.  I'm about to turn my life inside out to fix what happened and keep Theo from becoming 'that horse' again.

I didn't want this to be how I got back in the saddle.