Overdue update

I've been busy.

So we went to a couple of away shows and had some big wins and some setbacks which is pretty much par for the course.  On the highlights, I'm qualified for regionals at Second and got the score I needed for my freestyle.  We got as high as 65% from an S judge and went as low as a 58%.  Theo is so polarizing.  But every single test he marched down centerline and went to work like the school master he is.  Good, bad, or indifferent scores, he looked confident and happy every single test.  Even when I had an epic anxiety attack fueled meltdown in the warm up for no discernable reason.  Sure couldn't tell I thought I was going to puke when we hit centerline.

Let's also talk about how much I love my new burgundy coat.  I bought it on a whim at the NEDA Spring show because I kept walking past it and staring at it.  I've never worn a cut away coat and kept thinking it would look terrible on me.  Eventually I bought it and I have zero regrets.  I had the perfect matching browband in Theo's jewelry box and felt like a million bucks when we went down centerline.  I also ordered my very first pair of custom boots, hopefully they'll be here in time for regionals.  My shopping at NEDA was kind of insane but I was embracing my horse show life.

This is the grin of someone feeling completely safe because she's about to ride in with her bff

I debuted my Darth Vader freestyle at GMHA!  Theo definitely embraced the dark side in this test: "There is no peace, there is only passion".  He walked into the white ring where we have shown many times, took one look at the large audience that was perfectly silent, and tried to nope out.  First he jumped straight up a couple feet at the in gate and then froze.  Huh, that was a surprise.  Then he pulled his infamous left spin to try to vacate as I tried to walk around the ring past the audience.  The audience was so polite, not even moving as he spooked.  Unfortunately, this made it so much worse as he never registered them as people.  Fortunately I walked in as soon as the rider ahead of me saluted so I was able to wait and let him decide it was okay.  I never trotted, just walked and pet him as he tippy toed past the audience.  They rang the bell and I immediately put my hand up for my music.  

Theo was Theo and became a complete professional as soon as we hit center line.  He pulled a flying change in the counter canter heading toward the audience in both directions in the exact same spot (yay, symmetry?) which killed one of our best movement scores but we still got a qualifying score for regionals.  When he was good, he was very good and the judges liked the music and choreography.  I knew if I got him on centerline we would be fine because Theo does love his job.  And I know my choreography well enough to make up for issues when he's reluctant to go on one side of the ring.

We did have some issues with him going above the bit due to his distraction and me feeling like I was holding the whole thing together by the skin of my teeth but I was very proud of him for doing a technically challenging Second level freestyle while keeping an anxious eye on the audience.  There was a lot that the judges liked.  He better get used to audiences because freestyle really seems to be our strongest test.

I had a really good run at Third on the last day of GMHA but my tired pony didn't have enough in the trot work to save my one botched turn on the haunches and a drop change which each got 4s, we got a 59.7.  SIGH.  So close.  Painfully, torturously close to that score.  High score for the AA riders in that class but not quite there.  Theo had stressed his left hind during his ridiculous spook the day before so my left turn on the haunches was big by plan.  My right to left change got me a 6 and was totally boring (WIN).  My left to right was on the aids, organized, no drama, but a drop change for the 4.  His tired topline meant a gait score of 6 so I had zero room for errors.  But what a nice, civilized, organized test.  It was a big step forward for us.  

It was an awesome last test for us, I was so proud.  I managed to hit the 'big boy dressage' button in warm up and rather than kicking, I was suddenly hanging on for dear life.  His last extended trot in that test was absolutely the best we have ever done in competition, Trainer Z was so proud.  The judge was not buying Theo's gaits but I know that was every single molecule of trot Theo is physically capable of giving and I was delighted with him.  Every movement was on the aids and planned.  It was day four which is so hard for both of us but we laid down a trip that looked completely appropriate for the level.  I don't think we had the right judge for us as Theo doesn't move like other dressage horses and some judges are more willing to reward a horse doing the best they can in their body but I also have to acknowledge that if I'm going to ride this horse, there will be challenges.  As Pam said in our clinic, with Theo, I have to be perfect.  I don't have big fancy gaits to fall back on.  We have to be technically perfect and leave no points behind.  Botching both a change and a turn on the haunches just isn't good enough.

I've definitely knocked off the horse show rust at this point.  Hopefully that means there will be no more warm up ring meltdowns, that sucked.  I've also rebuilt my collection of coats (blue, black, and burgundy) and matching stock ties/browbands.  Hopefully I'll have new boots soon (I got an update that they've been cut out!).  Theo has a new tub of show supplies and I've got a system for all of my gear again.  I have learned that four days is my absolute maximum and I must take extra steps to hold up that long.  For NEDA Spring, I lost feeling in my left hand on the fourth day as the impacts caught up with me and my inflammation got out of control.  That kind of affected my riding, especially on a tired horse, and got me a 58%.  At GMHA I was aggressive with the NSAIDs and icing my neck so I had all of my limbs functioning going into day 4.

Seriously, could not feel my left hand at this point

I'm showing again next weekend to try to get the last score I need to do my freestyle at regionals.  I never show in July but I'm making an exception to do a day trip and try for that last score.  I would enjoy doing my Darth Vader freestyle at regionals if the fates align.  After that its a quick trip for Kiki to a breed show, then I'm on break.  I am off to Chicago for an academic conference while Theo is taking his leaser to D4K for her first big dressage show.  He gets to be an absolute packer at Training level for that weekend and I truly think this is going to be a great experience for his leaser.  Theo can be an absolute PITA but when he hits centerline he puts on a show.

I'm so, so tired after serious riding 2/3 times a week for a couple months but one more show before I get to take my break.  Taking Kiki to a breed show will be a relief after this campaign.  Not that we've been completely slacking on her.

But we'll talk about her next time.

Setback

 So that didn't go the way I'd planned.

"You got me up at 5am, what did you expect?"

I've posted videos, there's plenty of evidence that Theo has a perfectly acceptable change.  But in recent rides, we've been having some extra drama.  That drama means he's out of balance and the change is kind of a mess.  It started when I started really pumping up the canter to counteract that drop change from left to right.  Sometimes he boils over and jumps about before the change.  He's also started to figure out the test for Third 1 and is anticipating the change in the 10m circle.  That means he's starting to pop up while we're still on the circle.  By the time I am at the right spot in the arena to change, he's usually thrown at least one jump or buck which means his balance is out of whack.

Put me under pressure in a show ring and the wheels come off of our changes pretty significantly.  It's frustrating because everyone assumes I entered Third without a real change.  No, I had a change, we just misplaced it this week and I had to enter this show over a month ago.  Some shows are just not great timing and this show was one of those.   I certainly wouldn't have entered if I thought I was going to get a 3 on a movement that defines the level.  Even my right to left change that is usually lovely was described as 'muddled' due to a couple strides of anticipation drama.  The rest of the test couldn't compensate for that much of a mess.  I got a low 58 and a high 57.  No comments suggesting I shouldn't be at the level but definitely comments on needing a more confirmed change.

Sigh.

Love, love, love his show halter from Dark Jewel Designs on Etsy

I'd feel worse but we still got two red ribbons with those scores.  In one class no one broke 60.  Third 1 is cruel because it's such a big move up.  I can cover a blooper in a shoulder in or half passe and save the score.  Flying change?  Nowhere to hide and you need to nail it in one stride.  It's like when I was jumping and I'd know I'd botched a distance four strides out.  I know I've screwed it up as I leave the circle and he's so busy bouncing that he's down on his shoulders.  He can't change clean from down there.

It's a good time for me to drop back to Second 3 and focus on my test riding.  This past show was intended to get the temperature of our Third level prep and we are below the standard.  So we'll take the judge's comments and drop back to get our confidence back up.  Trainer Z is chomping to get me back out there at Third (she couldn't coach for this show which seriously hindered my warm up, not gonna lie) since we're really quite close.  Straighten up this last minute drama and we're right there.  It wasn't just the scores for the changes, it was the effect it had on my collectives.  Judges don't like it when you enter a test where you can't complete the movements and my submission scores took a hit with his drama.  Theo hasn't gotten a 5.5 for submission in a long, long time.

What I saw at 5am when I went to get him

I'm slightly disappointed but mostly okay since I was able to safely ride the test and he never got ugly.  It really does seem to come from a place of anticipation.  We got a 6.5 on his second medium walk, 7s for both of his reinbacks, and 6.5 for his walk pirouettes which were challenges before.  6.5 for his extended trot in one test.  Lots and lots of 6s and 6.5s.  I got a 7 for my rider position on my second test which was definitely a balm.  I think Trainer Z summed it up best with 'that sounds like they don't think you're not ready, they just want you to get your shit together'.  Fair.

It really did hurt to hear spectators questioning whether or not I actually had a change after my tests.  We do, I promise, and its a really cute change.  Just not this weekend.

Next show is three weeks away and we'll be going for our qualifying scores at Second 3 so we can go to regionals and do our freestyle.  I also have a clinic in two weeks so Pam will have a chance to rip into our changes and help find the root cause.  It must be something I recently changed in my riding since he was doing fine.  If there's something I'm doing, Pam will let me know.  In the meantime, we'll just practice that shoulder in on the quarter line for my freestyle.  

And spectators, give competitors the benefit of the doubt.  Horses live to keep us humble and Theo certainly kept me humble.

Start your engines

 My dissertation took a bit of a turn when we decided to cram the whole thing in six weeks.  That put me well ahead of the original plan and the rest of my cohort.  Not a lot of folks can say their dissertation manuscript was completed five months early which put me at 2 years and 8 months into my doctoral journey.  I defend May 1st and, assuming I pass, I'll have that Dr. title.  Completing this journey feels amazing and it still hasn't sunk in that I will have no homework, classes, or school work for the rest of my life.  

Why the sudden push to complete?  I've got other stuff to do this summer.  Mostly involving my favorite little trouble maker.

We got our first show out of the way today with a schooling show.  Got to love a schooling show in April when all of the horses are trying to remember how any of this works.  And Theo still looks like a woolly mammoth.  This was also a combined test so there were a lot of eventers knocking off the winter rust.  But when it's only 15 minutes away from the barn and a show ground where Theo feels very comfortable, you absolutely show up.  And it's my local dressage group hosting it so it qualifies me for more year end satin.  Yay!

Theo is such an old pro that his job was to keep a baby stallion company and let me practice being a Third level rider.  He was so good.  He was being very careful with me to start because I was nervous which is sweet but also problematic.  Careful Theo is First level Theo, keeping things flat and boring so he doesn't accidentally bounce me off.  Can't do a lot of Third level stuff in that frame.  I had to settle in and then play with Theo a bit to get him to relax and get into a Third level frame of mind.  We were in the double because it makes me more confident when I know I can stop any of his dramatics quickly.

It's almost hard for me to recognize him.  He's so bouncy and uphill these days.  We got a 61.7% for that test.  Two errors in the Third 2 test got me a 58% with similar scores to my first test.  Third 2 is so much harder than Third 1 with lots more to remember.  I now know I need to work on my ability to collect under pressure, I was struggling a bit with getting the job done with everyone staring at me.  The changes were all completely non-dramatic even in warmup which was nice.  None of them were both clean and on the aids but they were green bean changes, not problematic or explosive.  5.5 for all of them which I will happily take.

It was a confidence booster.  I left points on the table as he wasn't really in front of my leg even in the show ring so there's more points in that test.  the judge's comments were 'willing but needs more power'.  Completely agree, we can do more.  I just need to trust hitting that button when all alone in the show ring.  We've got our first rated outing in May so we have time to work on getting him really up in front of my leg.  It's still hard for me to go into that level of collection since he can boil over so easily.  I got him up into his fancy trot a couple times and it was definitely a moment of pride to show him off like that.  I need to keep doing it until I realize it's just how he works now.  It's fine.  He's supposed to be coiled up like a spring about to explode.  He likes being there.

Yikes.

Before and After

 Not much time to write these days as I'm in the throes of finishing my dissertation but had one of those rides yesterday that make you look back at how far your partnership has come.

This was Theo in July of 2015, the earliest trotting picture I can find.  It's a screen shot from a video of me trotting him around.  For us, this was a good trot.  I was happy with it and proud enough of his progress to post it as a progress video.

This was us yesterday, February of 2024 in our lesson with Trainer Z.

That is not the same horse.  The horse I rode yesterday was uphill, light, and very powerful.  Almost too powerful.  Trainer Z was at the stallion inspection in Denmark so Theo got a week off.  It was 60* out so I figured he'd be too warm to be sassy.  NOPE.  He wasn't physically wound up so much as mentally.  He was offering behaviors very quickly and acting like a kid at a theme park that wanted to do everything as soon as he arrived.  In the interest of not repeating the magnificent capriole he gave me when he boiled over during his canter work a couple weeks ago, we decided to focus on trotting and poles.

Someone was so excited and over trying that he started to offer a passage step at the first pole.  Theo has recently started offering passage when we work on increasing collection in the trot so Trainer Z decided today was the day.  I knew how to ask and what it should feel like thanks to my lessons on her stallion Muffin.  We turned to the poles, I half halted up and dropped the cadence, and mi papi passaged.

Once he realized that bouncing was not only allowed but encouraged?  He ate this up.  All of his excess energy finally had a place to go.  And his passage is huge.  I wasn't asking for big, just cadenced in these.  These are the smaller passes.  His bigger passes almost bounced me out of the tack.  Trainer Z was wide eyed when she got a look at just how big he can get in that slow cadence.  All of that power we see when he's free lunging never showed up in his extensions.  It's been hiding in the passage this whole time.

We also worked his half steps which are starting to look like a piaffe.

No, he'll never go Grand Prix, but these are great tools to make him sit, to add strength, and to give him an outlet for days like yesterday when he couldn't handle his own energy levels.  When we were done he was chewing like a fiend and his ears finally relaxed.  Instead of spooking in the corners and jigging off the wall, he did the big walk with his back swinging.

He also did his first working half pirouette recently.  Another move where he seems to have a natural affinity for it.  I keep telling him that if he wants to do Grand Prix, he's got to be consistent in his left to right flying change!  I can't do tempis if he botches his footwork.  Doing lots of very clean simple changes from left to right seems to be helping him understand how the foot sequence is supposed to go and his new power is making it easy enough that the clean changes are starting to happen.  That drop change will probably never fully go away but it's getting better.  There really is something going on in that change since he will botch it in the simple change sometimes, its like he can't quite coordinate his feet as well in that direction.  It's weird.  

My dissertation is due April 5th.  If I hit that deadline, I walk the stage May 4th.  At that point I am done with school forever and ever.  Theo and I have a full dance card of shows this summer to celebrate and to get that Bronze.  I'm starting to feel real hope that this time we've got it.  Every move except the left to right change is on lock at this point and even that change is weird but happening on the aids.  I just need to trust that we've done the work, he's more than ready, and get in the ring to get it done.

After I submit 120 pages about organizational change and the individual's perceptions of artificial intelligence.  Gross.

Winter plans

 Sometimes you need to be hit upside the head with the clue bat to figure some things out.  I had another clinic with Pam Goodrich, my third time riding with her, and she is so good at tearing through the nonsense and locating the actual cause of a problem.  I appreciate her blunt honesty and I could hear her and Trainer Z comparing notes and plans while I was riding.  I'll be benefiting from her findings all winter.

Theo is not surer he likes the idea of a winter plan

This time it was straightness.  Funny how I never seem to work on anything new and yet I'm always finding new things.  Forward, straightness, balance.  Theo's asymmetries have improved dramatically since he's been ridden by Trainer Z but he'll always have his little quirks.  He likes to travel with his shoulders to the left.  When it was severe, he had a four beat canter and would drag through my left arm to the point that it would fail rather than let me manage that left shoulder.  His left lead canter was nice to watch but his right lead was . . . dicey.  Now we have a right lead that is functional and is frankly higher quality than the left.  The right is a shorter, bouncier canter that sits on his butt.  The left is a bigger stride but more earth bound and heavier with hocks wanting to trail behind.  We worked so hard to fix his right lead that it's now the easier one to change.  The left is still his preferred lead but it is a bigger pain to adjust.  Go figure.

Given the insight that the left lead, which I've called 'the good lead' for eight years, is actually now the bad lead, the difficulties in changing the lead from left to right make more sense.  The canter is less balanced, more downhill.  It's more difficult to change out of so Theo will cheat with that extra beat in his flying change or will bronc to get the height needed and his massive shoulders out of the way.  Ugggggggh.  Some of it is emotional/mental of course since he prefers his left still but more of it appears to come down to the quality of the canter.

Poor baby.  But his grain got upped and he likes that part.

How do we fix the left lead to get the flying change?  The magic is in the counter canter.  A straight, balanced horse can counter canter through pretty much anything.  It's a good test since the results are very clear.  I'd started doing 15m circles in counter canter to work on my anxiety with the move.  During the clinic, I ended up doing a 10m turn onto centerline in counter canter to set up the half passe to the rail.  Then turn back onto center line without a change of lead so still counter cantering.  Holy crap.  Seriously, did not know Theo could do that.  I don't think Theo knew he could do that, either.  Setting him up to be balanced enough to do that turn made the half passe easy and lovely.  

With this new world, Trainer Z and I decided to go back and reapproach my canter and flying change set up.  Oddly enough, the thing that has worked the best to help me and Theo understand what's going on is the oldy but goody:  serpentine with changes of lead through the trot with less and less strides of trot.  It requires a nicely balanced canter, a correct half halt that goes through, and not doing weird whacky shit with my hands.  Combine this with making sure that I come in with a good head of steam and the changes are very nice.  Left to right is still difficult to consistently do without a pole to make Theo remember to not do that extra step.  It's just a habit at this point, he's not being naughty, it's just a valid option in his mind.  It's so fast it's basically impossible to stop from the saddle so pole for repetitions and muscle memory.

Added bonus to all of this is that his canter is improving every ride.  He's back in his double now that whatever was causing problems with his bridle connection has resolved on it's own.  I'm loving the little bit of finesse to get his shoulders and poll up without having to put too much brain power into managing it.  My brain has too much to focus on as it is, I can't be focused on making sure he's not dropping down on top of everything else.  The double on it's own seems to put the idea in his head.  Got some very lovely, connected trot today that felt like a million bucks.

So this winter is focused on teaching me what the right canter feels like so I can build it every time.  When I have it, he bids for the change in both directions and I have to tell him to wait, not try to make him do it.  It's muscle memory for both of us, repping until we both pick it up automatically.  We want to go into spring with the changes being just boring for us, just another move.  

Then it's show season 2024 goals:  Bronze scores, Second level freestyle, and a trip to regionals.  You know, little stuff.

Third

 It's been a bit but I didn't want to jinx myself by talking about my attempt at Third.  I had at least a dozen times where I wanted to back out and a couple times I really almost changed my mind.  But I did it!  I went in the ring and I did the thing!

We had a bit of a tough time with the weather.  The rain rolled in Friday night and stuck around most of the weekend.  Saturday was still relatively warm but bands of rain were coming through.  The footing was getting a bit dicey while I warmed up in a crowd with the rain pouring down.  Grateful for my eventing background that sent me hustling to the tack shop to get some tech gloves.  My reins stayed in my hands where they belonged even when it poured on our test!

It wasn't a weekend for bronze medal scores, it was about getting that first test out of the way and convincing myself I could do it.  And that we did!  My scores were very fair and we got a 55.6%.  We got 6.5s for a lot of our trot work and a 7 for gaits.  We were definitely ready for the level.  We also got a 1 for our second flying change because Theo decided to be an over achiever and do that while still in the half passe so I didn't get to show one.  Sigh.  He also bucked at the start of our release in the canter move which did not help our scores.  But we were still first in our class of 4.  On the day, in the terrible conditions, we were the best.

He added some flair in places such as his first flying change.  Got a 6.  At least it was clean?

Shoulder-in and renver are so easy for him, it's ridiculous.  6.5s across the board with smooth transitions between movements.  4.0 for our first turn on the haunches because he just noped out in the middle.  We can work on that over the winter.  

You can see the mucky conditions.  The footing at GMHA is generally good but nothing holds up under the amount of rain we've had this year.  Theo was not enjoying it but he did march around well.  Got conservative on our extended canter because I didn't want him to slip.

I did my final salute and it took me a couple hours to really realize that we'd done it.  We'd moved up and survived.  And then I totally cried on my tolerant pony's shoulder because that was a long, long time coming.

It poured Saturday night to the point that groundskeepers were out monitoring the flooding to make sure they didn't need to evacuate stabling.  Good news is that the water stayed out of stabling, the bad news is that the footing became soup.  I scratched on Sunday after watching a beautiful, balanced mare retire in the middle of her Third level test because she was slipping too much to do her canter work.  Theo and I are very new to the level, we're not ready to take on the added challenge of footing sliding when he's trying to jump up into his movements.

So the 2023 season is over and we finally, finally moved up to Third.  The judge's comments were very encouraging and since they're from an S judge, I feel like we demonstrated that we are ready.  No, not 60%, but I was very nervous and made some silly mistakes (hard to set up the half pass nicely when you completely miss center line).  We demonstrated that we can do all of the movements in an acceptable way and even got a 6 for the extended trot.  A little more confidence and some dryer footing?  Yeah, we'll get those scores.  

Someone might have talked me into shooting for regionals next year since I'll be done with school.  It sounds like a great way to celebrate my doctorate.

Learning to fly

 It seems that the flying change has become my theme or my nemesis.  I'm not sure which.  I write about it all the time as I get closer and then I fall back.  It's this weird, ephemeral thing that low level dressage riders like myself see as a sort of witchcraft.  That's what the big kid dressage riders do, not us.  Somehow, over all of the years and false starts, it's remained out of grasp.  

Except it's actually within grasp now.  Sort of.  Or as was recently said, it was in my power the whole time, I just had to click my heels three times.  Theo's right to left change is completely good, confirmed, takes relatively minimal set up.  He's happy to do it and it's pretty much always clean.  He prefers his left lead so these days, keeping him from changing is more work than asking for the change.  The left to right change is good about 50% of the time.  It's the weirdest thing, Theo really seems to struggle with figuring out how to get all four feet moved through the change from left to right.  We've seen every variation under the sun.  In my last lesson, Trainer Z tried to explain what he did and came up with 'I think he just did one tempis up front and moonwalked behind'.  Neither of us knew horses could moonwalk.  My horse is here to educate us all.

One of our better iterations of mistakes, a little weird up front but not bad.  That's Pam Goodrich  coaching us (love her, there will probably be more clips)

Right now, we are using a ground pole and sugar cubes to help Theo get that maneuver locked in.  Minus the moonwalk, of course.  He has a lovely, clean, uphill change when he mentally computes what it is that he's supposed to do.  These days he knows it's coming, it's just a matter of making it physically make sense for him.  And making it so rewarding that he wants to get it right.  I'm going through a lot of sugar cubes.  

This feels different because Theo is stronger, he knows what we want, and he really is trying.  I've also got enough iterations at this point that I feel like I know how to ask.  I have confidence when setting up and asking for the change.  In my last lesson I succeeded in waking up Big Boy Theo complete with some bucking, jigging, and leaping.  And it was fine.  Riding multiple times a week has finally kicked in and for a shining few moments I was old me.  We half passed from center line to the rail, set up despite Theo's surging and bouncing, and then had a big beautiful change from left to right.  I lost both stirrups but was too busy petting and fussing to care.  I'd stuffed him full of sugar before I picked up my stirrups.

We have a plan for the Third Level debut.  I barely dare to type it after so many years but with one change locked down and the other looking to be well on it's way even when it's me and not Trainer Z in the saddle, an October debut feels comfortable.  Let's face it, if I wait for it to be perfect I will never do it.  Having one change very confident and the other 50% awesome and 50% 'creative' is not the worst thing a judge will see at Third 1.  He knows what he needs to do and gives it the good old college try, he simply screws up the footwork sometimes.  His half pass is lovely in both trot and canter, I'll be struggling to keep him from going sideways too fast.  His extended will get us a laugh and a 5 but time isn't going to change that.  Shoulder in to renvers he can do in his sleep so we may just skip to Third 2 in order to get that nice set up for the change.  But after so many years of fussing and thinking and dreaming, we're setting a date.  October 2023, we're going to start trying for those last two scores for my Bronze.

Eeeeek!

The horsiest time of the year

 This whole couple of weeks has been a whirlwind.  The show season in New Hampshire is short, particularly when you ride a black, very muscley draft cross.  We tend to show in June, break for all of July, do a show late in August, and then a couple outings in fall before the snow flies at the end of October.  June is prime show season as well as clinic season.  Combine that with commencement season at the university and I've been sleeping in hotels and driving all over New England.

First was Theo's trip to NEDA Spring.  I went as the groom so I could get back into the swing of things while Trainer Z debuted Theo's freestyle.  Warm up day was 91* and very sunny.  Both Theo and Schrodie warmed up beautifully for Trainer Z.  It's still whacky to me that she has two completely different horses as her competition horses:  Mr. Fancy Pants Grand Prix Stallion Schrodie and . . . Theo.

Over dinner Friday night, the cold front arrived.  We spent the rest of the weekend huddling for warmth as the wind blasted and the rain fell.  It was 50* for a high and drizzling for two days straight.  Theo had to wear his heavy Baker to stay warm.  We were thanking all of our lucky stars that we didn't clip him in the spring so he still had some protection from the ridiculous weather.  Schrodie couldn't have asked for worse conditions for his return to Grand Prix competition.  The energy was too much for him on Saturday but on Sunday, he had a very nice trip with Trainer Z.  

Given the conditions, I was very proud of Theo going into the ring like a total gentleman and not giving Trainer Z too much flack.  He was tight in his back and jaw because it was raining and cold damn it!  Theo does not like to work in the rain and the cold.  Both of his tests went well but it was Trainer Z's first freestyle so there are some tweaks to the choreography in mind now that she's done it in competition.

But she got the scores for her freestyle bar and qualified for regionals so mission accomplished!  Many more photos are coming of their tests, they're being processed by the photographer right now.  The video was a complete bust since you can't hear anything over the wind.  It demonstrates the conditions folks were dealing with at this show that video wasn't possible.  It was utterly miserable and I heard that one ring had 8 eliminations in one day.  That didn't include the folks that didn't make it out of warmup.  Considering the conditions, it was a great success.

The very next weekend saw me loading up the trailer to take Theo to a local show for our first show together in almost four years.  Nervous?  Me?  What would make you think that?  Might be the green shade of my face that made strangers tell me 'good luck' and 'you'll be great!' as I walked to the ring.  Grooming the weekend before did help as I'd at least been to a show recently and the old habits kicked in.  I schooled the night before and realized Second 3 is easy for us now.  I can do a 15 meter circle in counter canter, I can certainly manage that serpentine.

Theo was an absolute saint.  Warmed up just like we were at home.  I was actually wishing I hadn't wimped out and had put on my rowels and picked up my whip.  I chickened out because I didn't want more horse than I could handle.  Then I saw the two big puddles in the competition ring.  Damn it, I could have used the bigger spurs.  Theo does not like to go through ankle deep water and with it in the corners, I wouldn't be able to use them to set up for my movements.  Sigh.

I was proud of my test.  No errors, no major issues, just a cute draft that was not having it with cantering through the puddles and a judge with a (justified) reputation for being harsh.  At one point I growled at him audibly and got an error for using my voice but I needed him to just go through the puddle already!  Kicking like a pony clubber does not go over well at Second.  I got fours for his 'lack of forward' or cutting the corner on any movement going into or coming out of a puddle.  Which was two corners so . . . half my test.  One judge gave me a 56%, the other gave me a 61%.  Theo is always polarizing, no matter how far he goes in his training.  Many pictures are coming of this test as well.  I'm definitely doing my part to support the show photographers.

I am honestly content with my results.  I got it done, looked like I had a clue, and definitely reinforced the idea in my head that I am ready and able to show again.  Which seems insane given the professionals that thought my riding career was over.  I was all smiles during my test because the score didn't matter, I was going down centerline.  That was already a win.  Folks commented that we clearly knew each other and he looked quite content to do his job.  Except for splashing through puddles.

And then I had a clinic the next day.  The plan was to hand my feedback to the clinician and work on that but that plan was made before we had our little puddle problem.  Hard to replicate those issues in an indoor arena!  Turns out I didn't need to worry, she'd seen our test.  She was right, the test was completely fair because everyone had to conquer the puddles.  Some did it better then us, some did it worse.  But as I was reminded during my ride, how could I expect to get through the puddles when I still let Theo spook out of the corners on a typical ride?  He has to go where I want him to go every single ride.  I was also put on blast for my jiggley hands.  I might be getting my possessed right arm tied down with a polo in future lessons.  Not sure but she was definitely discussing some sort of plan with Trainer Z to address that issue.

All of that aside, we got a clean flying change in each direction with no drama.  So I guess we're still on our way to Third!

Now I get a weekend off.  I'll ride Saturday and Sunday as usual but no activities planned.  The following weekend is a handling clinic where Kiki will be learning about her new job as a fancy dressage prospect.  Being fancy is kind of natural for her but doing it in hand?  That may take some work.  Kiki likes to be fancy on her own terms.

I did a thing

 So I might have just sent in my first horse show entry since 2019.  Cue the heart attack and the insane nerves.

"Mom's freaking out, news at 11"

I'm signed up to do Second 3 in June, the weekend after his first show of the season with Trainer Z.  I figure he'll have the cobwebs dusted off after a weekend show so a day show will be no big shakes.  June is a good time of year since it will be warm enough to be happy but not hot where he melts.  A day show means I ride one test and leave which is lovely.    

This makes the whole abstract idea of returning to competition a lot less abstract.  Now I'm franticly hunting down my show clothes and trying to remember Second 3.  Then realizing I never got around to riding it in competition because we weren't ready for the serpentine.  Oh yeah.  I guess that makes me feel better that I've been schooling 15m circles in counter canter.  I think Second 3 will be comfortable.

"Seriously, mom, I can do that test in my sleep, have you seen my ribbons?"

New boots had to be ordered as my Ariat field boots of many years have started to come apart.  The stitching on the toe cap is coming loose.  I got some Treadstep dress boots since I'm still  not ready for real dressage boots.  At least they're dress boots and will look nice on me.  I'll need something to ride in while waiting forever for full custom for my x-wide, short calves.  Dressage boots on the shelf don't even come in short.  I found my black coat and helmet in the back of my closet so those are set (still fit, too).  New white pad from PS of Sweden en route.  Still need white breeches and my white gloves recently disintegrated.  I might have blotted out how much stuff is involved in these competitions.

But the entry is in.  I'm going back into the ring.  I'm coming for that Bronze!  After I finish conquering Second.

Grateful

 As we're coming up on a year of me being back in the saddle, it appears this is going to stick.  I had an evaluation with the chiro today and aside from my SI needing a bit of extra attention (learning to sit a proper collected canter on the proper seatbone is hard), she thinks I'm doing better now then I was a year ago.  Taking that time off and focusing on getting my body repaired appears to have been the right move.  Will I ever go back to riding 5 - 6 times a week?  Probably not, but I can plan on my part-time riding continuing indefinitely.  Chiro is feeling good about us holding off my inevitable surgery for a good long while yet.

I still feel like every lesson is a great big present all wrapped up in a bow.  The week Theo came out with a crick in his neck and we spent the whole ride doing long, low body work to help him work it out?  Wonderful.  My last lesson where I worked on Theo letting go of his lower back so he could do a cleaner, more lofty canter?  Perfect.  The week I rode half passe to a flying change that damn near jumped me out of the saddle?  Fantastic.  I actually found my outside rein for the first time last week.  That seems crazy for someone that's been riding as long as me but I picked him up on my outside rein and all of a sudden things started to make sense.  As Trainer Z put it, he's finally ready to be ridden straight and it's really freaking cool to ride him like this.

One day I will be done posting about how damn cool it is to ride this horse right now but today is not that day.

The show schedule is up and I'm trying to pick dates for everything.  I'm debating doing a show at Second just to get my show legs back before going for Third.  Seems like a good idea.  Trainer Z is aiming for the regional championships with her Second level freestyle and possibly Second level if the schedule works out.  I'm just aiming to enjoy my showing.  I'm hoping this is a chance for me to relearn showing in a more positive, less freaked the fuck out way.  Due to my new rules, I can't show by myself anymore so I think that will help me start to associate showing with better experiences.  I'm going to groom for the early shows in the season to help out and get back into the swing of things.  I've only done one away show with Trainer Z, still need to learn her systems.

The expression of an AA rider trying to brain her way through a half passe in the dead of winter in NH, Theo looks perfect

I'm kind of hoping I don't lose my feeling of extreme gratefulness any time soon.  It really does change your perspective to think that you'll never get to ride again.  Theo gave me a bit of hell in our last lesson as I asked him to do something hard and it was fine.  He wasn't naughty, just reacting to the increased pressure as I get comfortable asking him for more.  So far my only real limitation is that I can't let him get heavy.  My upper body can't tolerate it.  Good thing we graduated to his double and we have that skinny NS snaffle bit to keep him from deciding I should do half the work on snaffle days.  And by that I mean he thinks I should carry half his weight.  He's a big boy, that's a lot of weight.

With my chiro's blessing, I'm looking into scheduling a second ride each week.  I need to get better if I want to show Third, a school master can only get you so far.  We've started to uncover some of the stuff holding me back, the old baggage and issues that come with me skipping from touching Second to riding a tuned up Third level horse.  I sometimes ride past-Theo.  In some way, I haven't let past-Theo go because I wasn't there when it became past-Theo.  The consistent training and educated rides have resulted in him really embracing his life as a dressage show horse.  He comes into the arena expecting to work and eager to do it.  Why?  Hell if I know, that'll have to be a different post, but Theo happily marches into the ring with his tail swinging when it's time to work.  

And yawning like crazy during his post-workout body work sessions

It's fun to chase the Bronze this way.  I'm kind of in a rush but kind of not.  He's 19 but our barn mate is doing PSG with her 23 year old mare.  Theo is actually one of the youngest of the schoolmasters which reminds me that we still have a bit of time.  I may not attempt Third until the fall.  If I get to show at all, it will feel like a damn victory.  But I have to buy a new show coat.  I might have donated all my show clothes, thinking I would never need them again.

Whoops.

2023 Adventures

 For someone that was seriously thinking their riding career was over, I've got a pretty crowded summer coming up.  Kiki is moving up to Trainer Z's place in the first week of April so that's going to be exciting!  Trainer Z has a 2022 foal that one of her clients bought so Kiki is going to share a field with a lovely, very fancy liver chestnut filly called Vivian that is just a couple days older than her.  Viv is currently living with the broodmares but they're both due in April and she'll need a new roomie.  The timing is perfect.  The two girls can grow up together all feral and hairy in a pasture with Trainer Z's supervision as I learn how to work with a yearling.

Kiki's future roommate, La Vie En Rose WPF (Delaney PF-Donarweiss GGF x Landsong-Lancaster-Langraf I)

From what I've learned so far, they primarily run around hairy and dirty and focus on growing as yearlings.  She'll be coming up to the barn to practice standing, leading, and grooming.  She's also going to be going to some breed shows so she has to learn how all of that works.  Sure, her breeder was teaching her to trot on a lead at three months but it seems like a skill we should keep working on.  I'm planning to enter Amateur Handler and hire a pro for the classes that actually count.  I don't want to make her look bad when the breeder and stallion's owner are so excited.

From Kiki's Christmas photos.  She's on the left, the buckskin on the right is Ozzy (same breeder but unrelated, the class of 2022 was gorgeous)

Alongside Kiki's adventures to breed shows, there's the true star that has his own show schedule.

Someone tried to pick my pocket during his Christmas photo shoot

Theo will be debuting his Second level freestyle with Trainer Z at the first big show of the season in June.  Once she's got her freestyle scores, all attention shifts to making sure he's ready to do flying changes and trying to get those two scores I need to finish my Bronze.  Today we practiced our canter half passe to flying change and the shoulder in to haunches out that you see in Third 2.  We're pretty sure Third 2 is a better test for Theo so we might as well start there.  A flying change going into the corner can keep the drama to a minimum and he is so strong in the transition from shoulder in to haunches out.  The half passe we're getting figured out, the flying change?  Yeah, it's time for me to wake up big boy Theo.  It's been awhile but he popped a buck today and it was fine.  Time to turn that dial up and unleash all the power he's developed with Trainer Z. 

Dusting off the big boy bridle, Theo is so thrilled

Fall will probably wind up with Theo at the regional championships with Trainer Z, showing off their freestyle.  I will hopefully also be going to the regional breed show championships with Kiki but it's going to be harder to get her qualified.  Theo just needs two freestyles over 65% to qualify.  Given his history in freestyle, his professional choreography, and the fact he's being ridden by a pro, he's got a very good chance of doing that.

I'll be just the owner at a lot of outings but I'm still excited.  My dissertation starts this summer with my proposal being submitted so I know I won't have the time to be a full fledged horse mom.  I'm still grateful for every ride after thinking I was completely done.  I'll still be happy even if I'm just part of the cheering section and holding the drool rag to clean up Theo's bridle before he heads in.

Life with Trainer Z

When I brought Theo to live with Trainer Z, I didn't think I'd ever get to ride again seriously.  I wanted Theo to find a leaser or at least have his brain cells reinstalled so he wasn't considered dangerous anymore.  Now I'm in regular lessons, schooling Third in preparation for going after those scores next year, and reaping the benefits of having my very own schoolmaster that is always tuned up.  It's been a huge change for the rider that did everything on her own, showed alone, and lacked consistent training.  It's been very hard to swallow at times that I'm not the one having 'those' rides on Theo anymore.  That's someone else's job now.  I ride the result of her hard work.  Not to say I'm not working hard, Theo does not believe in rider's getting to flop along for free.  But for the first time ever, I have a professionally trained horse.

Who won both of his Second 3 tests with her two weeks ago and went Reserve High Point Second Level in the Open division

Trainer Z's barn is both friendly and serious business.  It's small with ten stalls on the indoor and another seven or so horses living outside full time with run ins.  Her riders are mostly dressage focused with some eventers mixed in.  Not a lot of high level dressage trainers in this area welcome eventers with open arms but Trainer Z loves OTTBs and eventers.  She has a member of the local hunt take her out on trail rides to give her dressage horses a good example, up to and including the GP level stallions.  

The sign next to the door to the ring

That's also taken some getting used to.  Random mutts like Theo rub shoulders with fancy stallions like Schroeder and are taken just as seriously.  It feels surreal.  Today I was heading into the ring while Schroeder was in the cross ties after his ride.  Theo and Schroder know each because they trailered together to GMHA.  We had to scoot Schrodie (no, fancy stallions get no respect from me) back a couple steps so I could mount without him messing with Theo.  The fact that Theo gets the same handling and respect really changes how everyone looks at him, including me.  

"He's the most impressive ride I have right now."  That startled me considering the kinds of horses Trainer Z rides but it's not about the scores.  He's her most complicated horse and her biggest achievement because the margin for error is so small.  He apparently was doing caprioles in his turn out yesterday and getting up high enough to ding the top rail in his turn out.  Even the junior stallions were staring at his behavior in awe.  She knows what he's capable of and the baggage he carries.  He's not a fancy import, born and raised to be a dressage super star.  He's Theo, the wannabe stud with limited coping strategies for his emotions and the nastiest spin in the state.

Sign in the tack room

Today I rode my half passe in the canter and felt him lift his shoulders up and out of the way.  It felt like a completely different gait, a series of jumps instead of strides.  I had my hands up because that's where his shoulders were and I must have been far enough back because he was happy to do it.  He was balanced and powerful, happy to carry himself in the movement.  It was amazing, a tiny glimpse of true self carriage and what the high level riders get to experience.  It's a struggle right now to get my hands up but that's me learning to trust that this is real, it's not fake or him tricking me.  

It's been a completely different experience since we moved in with Trainer Z.  Theo is whickering happily before his rides and looks like a million bucks so he's clearly enjoying life.  And me?  I'm still getting used to my new role but it's a lot more than I'd hoped for just a year ago.  And when the show season rolls around?  I won't be out there trying to do it all myself.  That sounds like a slice of heaven.

Cob Mob

 I got to visit Kiki!  It was also the day that I dropped off the last check for her purchase and started transferring all of her paperwork to me as she's being weaned.  So I'm broke.  But let's focus on the cute.

Oh dear, Kiki

Poor Kiki, she's going through her first awkward phase that I've observed.  She's always been so balanced and then I came around the corner and just burst out laughing.  Oh, honey.  That butt.  What the hell?  

She's definitely in the middle of a growth spurt.  Her breeder and I agreed that we lucked out that she waited until after her inspection to pull this particular 'hide her behind the barn' phase.  Not unexpected at all, just hilarious for a filly that has hardly had a day where she didn't look perfect.  No, it's not the angle of the picture, she's just ridiculously butt high on the day I visited.  But I cuddled her and gave her all the skritches all the same because I know she'll catch up with that butt soon enough.

Kiki, honey, you don't fit anymore

She's still the sweet, sensitive young lady I've met before.  She absolutely loves to be touched, even on her belly or legs.  She doesn't really care so long as she's getting groomed.  She's putting on her winter coat and while the rest of the class of 2022 are showing how dark they can go, Kiki is sticking to her frosted buckskin look.  She has dark hairs mixed in but she isn't showing any signs of going super dark like the other foals.  She's hanging on to her light buckskin look and I'm delighted.

She's also a total heathen.  She has left  a lot of bite marks on the other foals.  I got to spectate while she reared and goaded the colt into galloping for her entertainment.  I didn't get pictures since I was out of range but she has the colt of the group well entertained.  They're being weaned together due to being very close in age and the other filly her age heading home to Canada today.  It's going to be a rough week for the class of 2022 with one foal leaving and two being weaned.  It had to happen but that doesn't mean it will be an easy week for a mama's girl like Kiki.  She certainly won't be alone but it won't be her favorite day.

A little grooming session with Avanti while I was on rump scratching duty

Back at home, I had an unobserved Theo ride and then he got a mini spa day.  We're going to avoid clipping him until after his last show of the season and then we're going to clip him conservatively since he's got a pro that can wait all day for him to dry if necessary.  The hope is that more hair = less tantrums.  I really don't want to risk Trainer Z.  They have a show together next weekend and then it's the off season for them.  There's a Second Level freestyle to finish and the final polish on his Third Level moves.  Trainer Z and I both have plans for next season.

He's sexy and he knows it

2023 is coming fast and I'm going to have my hands full showing a yearling filly and my Third Level horse (YES I'M GOING FOR IT).  I will catch up on my sleep now because come May?  Sleep is for the weak.