Tundra

Weehaw, Mother Nature.

My deck when the snow stopped last night

We had a beast of a storm go through last night.  We got about a foot of snow, the coast saw some really tough coastal flooding, winds were steady at 30mph, gusted to 50mph, and overall it sucked.  The new arctic air is coming in.  Like we needed to re-up or something.  Tomorrow our high is 0* and low is -11*.

Getting the dogs to go out has become a real ordeal.  They stand in the doorway, look out at the tundra in horror, and I have to push them out.  Once outside, Aura bounds around like a deer on crack, dragging me off my feet, causing me to fall into snow banks, and generally flailing for the 60 seconds her hairless, fatless body can handle the cold.  Then she needs to go in and we may have to carry her if her feet have frozen.  We now have an indoor and an outdoor coat for her.  We tried putting boots on her but her little cat shaped feet pop out as soon as she gives them a shake.  Being a boxer is tough. 

Displeased boxer is displeased

Peyton can't see over the snow and has to stick to the plowed trails.   She refuses to wear clothes and with her double coat, she doesn't need them.  But she's so tiny that the ground just sucks heat out of her and she doesn't last much longer than her sister.  She's also very disdainful about getting wet and would like to know why we haven't gotten her yard completely cleared yet and why we're letting this wind keep blowing.

The chug in her very fluffy winter coat

I've actually gotten concerned messages from people that have been watching the news.  I'm far enough away from the coast that it's just cold, wind, and a whole bunch of snow here.  We did not lose power by some miracle and our back up generator is on standby, just in case.  We're toasty warm and safe.  The barn has checked in and, aside from cancelling all lessons for the next two days, things are chugging along like normal.  The ponies are bundled up and several were seen playing in the snow.  They must know how miserable tomorrow is going to be. 

The winds were pretty fierce last night.  There were a couple points where I wanted to crouch down and hide because I could swear the house was shaking.  I could hear the trees groaning.  Fortunately we've had so many wind storms at this point that we had no big branches down immediately around the house.  The trees are looking tattered, but they're still upright.  Everyone is taking today to dig out and check on neighbors as the temps drop.

This weather is pretty insane.  My whining aside, this was not a gentle storm and anyone that lost power is in serious trouble.  The last three weeks have been completely abnormal.  This is NOT NORMAL.

My race photo, showing all of the layers needed to run at 0*

But I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Monday?  31* and my return to the barn.  Just in time for my break from work, the temps will normalize.  Theo will be getting his Irish clip and we'll be legging him back up after his two week vacation.  My new saddle has been sitting for two weeks with the stirrups turned, so it should be ready to go.  I got my new draft sized western headstall (regular headstall did not fit, sob) and reins so he'll finally have matching western gear.  It was bugging me to have a dressage bridle with the brown western saddle.

I'm almost there.  I have two more days of brutal cold to weather, then I can get back to work.  Come on, normalcy!  I could use a bit of that bamly coastal New England winter!

Road race

Started out the year by running a mile even though nothing was chasing me, then turning around and jogging back because it was freaking cold and I wanted to go inside.

Hate this picture, but it's proof of my insanity

I also wanted my beer.

A Belgian tripel

I did a mile in 10:24 which counts as a personal record.  Because I've only done two races in my life and in my first one, I did three miles in 38 minutes.  So I'm two minutes faster per mile.  Not that I could keep that pace up for three miles, I sprinted the last quarter mile since I could see the finish line and had no need to keep a reserve.  I mean, a sprint in my world is actually running instead of shuffling, but at least I've made it to the point where I can run!

Then we immediately had to turn around and walk back to the starting area.  With 966 runners going all of one mile, shuttle buses wouldn't work.  It would take forever to get us all loaded.  It was faster to just walk back.  Or in my case, walk/jog/whatever it took to get out of that weather.  About 0* out per the news report on the race and winds around 15mph.  Windchill was sub zero.  The race was downhill and specifically set up to be as easy as possible so people could start the year with new personal records (two people finished in under four minutes).  The walk back?  Uphill, into the wind, torture.  We went past a farm which meant a big, open field with nothing to stop the wind.  It was also the steepest part of the uphill.

Children started crying, there were little shrieks when the wind suddenly blasted us with blowing snow, and exhausted runners started forcing their done legs to run again as we all tried to return to the shelter of the high school gym.  It was an odd camaraderie with the thousand people that thought going for a run in record setting cold on January 1 was a good idea.  A herd mentality kicked in and no one wanted to be last.  We closed ranks and shuffled through the wind and cold together.

Reenactment of our march

Then there was pizza, yogurt, music, and a warm gym complete with cheerleaders to greet us like conquering heroes.

So.  Much.  Sugar.

We all got tickets for a free beer at the brewery down the road and I took the hubby with me to get lunch and enjoy my reward.  I figured I'd burned enough calories to earn a decadent dessert.  Of course I only ate about four bites with my blood sugar issues, but they were great.

I woke up this morning and saw that it was -10* out.  That's before the windchill.  I haven't been able to ride in a week due to this crazy weather and the high for Saturday is forecasted to be -2*.  They're still predicting a return to normal for my vacation so it may work out.  Theo gets a vacation rather than a day here or there and then we pick up again on the 9th.  While he chills and gets fat, I'll keep shuffling along.  Next race is on the 16th, a 5k.  Hopefully it won't be quite so mind numbingly, painfully, record setting-ly cold.

Nutrition update

So what do you do after you put your horse on a B vitamin supplement and he suddenly has energy coming out of his ears?  First you take him off the damn energy supplement.  Then you figure out that there might be something missing and you start to chase it down with all possible determination and resources.

I saw a review of FeedXL over on A Enter Spooking and thought that would be the perfect way to get Theo's supps in line.  I entered what he was on (minus the Ultrafire) and hit run.

Looks like I've been making some rookie errors.  His four pounds a day of CarbGuard isn't covering his basic vitamin and mineral requirements, especially in winter when there's no grass.  Apparently a horse his size and in his level or work should be getting more grain than that if that's the source of vitamins.  Whoops.  This includes his B vitamins, his E vitamins, and selenium.  I did a lot of emailing to find the vitamin and mineral content of everything he eats, right down to his alfalfa pellets.  I'm pretty confident that I've got the full picture now.

After a full day of tuning and adjusting, I managed to turn every line green.

I've added a multi-vitamin to get his vitamins in line (SmartVite Perform).  That meant I needed to dump his combo supplement because it was over supplementing minerals.  Instead he's on a focused joint supp (SmartFlex Ultra) and hoof supp (Smart Hoof) to get his glucosamine, chondoritan, and biotin in line with the recommended values.  I left him on the muscle recovery because he is coming out less sore these days (SmartMuscle Recovery).  I added a vitamin E and selenium supp (VitaE & Selenium crumbles) since my region is infamously low in selenium and Standlee confirmed their alfalfa is from a selenium depleted area.  I also added an ounce of loose salt since his salt block keeps melting in the rain/snow.

Avoiding over supplementing is pretty much impossible for some things.  Why does every sup include potassium?  Seriously.  Zinc is also in every single hoof sup and multi-vitamin, so you're going to go over no matter what.  Doesn't do him any harm, just gives him some expensive pee.  This rebalance did almost double my supplement bill.  I'm going to look into Sunshine pellets as a ration balancer, see if I can get this bill back down.  Ouch.

I like the FeedXL app.  It's not free, but well worth a one month membership if you want to really dig into your horse's diet.  Most of the supps from SmartPak are already loaded and I found all of the feeds that are popular in my area.  There are some gaps in their data, but if you email the manufacturer to get the missing data, the developers will add it to the app very quickly.  It's fantastic for doing the math to figure out what ppm turns into and displaying it with the daily recommended allowance.  They have interactive graphs so you can see how much of each vitamin is coming from which source.  When looking at things like selenium and iron where toxicity is a concern, this made me much more comfortable that I hadn't missed a source.  They flag fields were they might not have data for a nutrient source so there are no surprises.

Their 'suggest a supplement' tool turned out to be really weak since it doesn't pay attention to the recommended serving size.  It will suggest supplements, but then you need to go see what a serving size is and see if it will actually fill in the gap at the recommended dose.  It was frustrating until I figured out that the tool was suggesting a double dose so entering a single dose didn't take care of the gap.

This might be the first time in Theo's life that he's getting everything he needs across the board.  Let's see how this plays out.  I may have to re-calibrate his workout schedule if having all of his vitamins is all it takes to turn him into a snorty beast.

2018 Goals: Expanding horizons

As everyone is writing out their goals for 2018, I find myself hesitating.  I've started a couple of times, but 2017 was a hell of a lesson on overconfidence and the bliss of ignorance.  I don't want to set myself up for another fail.  So I have sat and thought about what I really, truly want from 2018.

I want to shake that anxiety that is currently plaguing me around taking Theo out.  Between his shenanigans outside of show rings, his theatrics on cross country courses, and his occasional melt downs on trails, he's not exactly a steady eddy outside of the ring.  He has made great strides, but he's not consistent.  It's starting to have an impact on my confidence.  When I think about going on an adventure, I don't feel excitement.  I feel anxiety.  New rings, new courses, new trails, new companions all cause that little pang of fear.  'He's going to spin, buck, and be naughty' says the little voice in the back of my mind.

Being naughty

Which is dumb because we've gone and done a lot successfully in strange, new places.  It's just been awhile so the confidence is slowly starting to erode away.  

After a lot of consideration, I want to dump my usual competition focused goals and go with something a bit more abstract and holistic.  I want to focus on making us the best pair possible, regardless of ribbons.

In 2018, I want to:

1.  Complete a (non competition) cross country course
I picked this as my first goal strictly because it makes my stomach clench hard enough that it hurts.  I know what I'm in for, but I also know how good it will be for our confidence to go out and conquer this boogie man.  At 18", of course, and in a schooling situation where we can go out and school each fence ahead of time.  If we can do a cross country course, we can manage the dressage ring.

Actually going out in the open

2.  Compete in western dressage
Because I bought the saddle, damn it.

3.  Trail ride somewhere completely new
Yes, doing the trails connected to the barn once a week keeps him from hating the sand box, but we need to push past that.  What's the point of buying a trailer if I never go anywhere for the fun of it?  I have friends just itching to take me out on the trails.  All I have to do is go.

I could be out here again

4.  Get back over 60% at a sanctioned show.
I don't care what level we show at, but we need a score over 60%.  We need to be reminded that we can do this.  I don't care if I drop back to Training, I will be competitive again.  I don't think I'll have to drop back, but if I'm still scoring badly?  Fine.  Whatever it takes.  We need that confidence rebuilt.

5.  Go for a gallop
I used to love going for a gallop.  I lost that along the way.  Theo doesn't seem to know how to gallop so I'll have to teach him.  That'll be interesting.

Once upon a time, this didn't scare me

6.  Show in dressage like a boss
I should be marching into that ring like I own it.  It's the sandbox, not a pit of dragons.  After doing Training level cross country, this should be a non issue.  As I used to joke with my eventing friends, why would I be nervous?  There's no jumps, no water, no ditches.  If I feel like it's my kingdom to conquer, Theo will buy into it and assume that it is his time to be my war horse stallion.  It may take a lot of schooling shows and some counseling but I need to be able to march into that ring with complete confidence.

I am a good rider.  I have to say that to myself like a mantra.  As my friend said last night over drinks, 'you're not a real ammy, you're like a professional ammy'.  I am a good rider and can manage mi papi even when he's on his less than best behavior.  Yes, we will show at First level and I am still shooting for that Second level debut, but we need more than that.  We need to relax, take on new challenges, face demons far bigger than judges' booths.  I need to feel him gallop and react with elation, not terror.  He needs to feel confidence from me when he's not sure.  We need to practice together so we can lean on whoever is feeling more secure when things get tough.

Two very scared newbies relying on each other for support

I want 2018 to be a bunch of trailer trips and schooling shows.  I want to go on adventures.  I want to face a new challenge with the feeling that my partner is right there with me.  I think it's a good goal to have.

2017: The year of realizations

Oh, 2017.  If only I could go back and give myself a message at the start of the year.

I went into 2017 all shiny eyed and confident, thinking I was going to be competitive at First level, do some hunter/jumper shows, and maybe even move up to Second.  I would surely qualify for my freestyle.  Basically none of that happened.

Still BFFs somehow

I found out that my secure, work from home, low stress job of ten years was changing and that I needed to look for something new.  That started the tailspin, ratcheting my stress up to new levels and stealing time away from the barn.  When I found my job (only 20 minutes away from the barn) in March, I had to rebuild my schedule so that it included a commute and a job that needed me to actually work.  I picked up a leaser, set my pony up with a training ride once a week, and tried to figure out how to be a part time rider.

Theo and his leaser

We careened into the show season with less fitness for me and less polish for him.  Our first outing boosted my confidence with good scores at First, but then the wheels came off.  Theo demonstrated why he's not a h/j pony by having a grand melt down in a flat class, bucking enough to alarm the EMT in warm ups, and generally ending any hope of a hunter career for him.  Pony loves to jump.  Pony does not love jumping away from home.

Super fancy show pony 

He also demonstrated that he's still convinced there are aliens everywhere and he needs to run from them, almost getting us eliminated before the judge could even ring the bell.  I struggled with how to get him around the outside of the ring before a test.  I embarrassed myself with a spur rub.  I didn't break 60% at any of my sanctioned outings.

First Level 3 canter this ain't.  Holy crap, so bad.

I realized I was going the wrong direction and started to look for help.  I bought a trailer so I could go out and adventure on my own.

My very own rig 

I met Mary Howard in July and started the grand battle for contact.  It was a miserable couple of months that threatened to throw Theo and I off the tracks completely.  There were draw reins, lunge whips, and tears.  I was hurt, frustrated, and having anxiety attacks.  Theo wasn't enjoying himself either and resisted every step of the way as we pushed against something he'd successful fought since age six.  By September, I had to take a week off to reset.

But that was the turning point for the year.  When we rounded that curve, I had all new options.  I could suddenly communicate with my horse rather than having him lock me out.  Vitor Silva gave us some new tools to straighten him up using lateral work.  He reminded me that Theo is a proud horse and that he has to be set up to succeed.  Mary Wanless focused on my seat bones and convincing them to share the saddle.  I used all of our very hard work throughout 2017 to present my horse as a confirmed First Level horse and he certainly looked the part.  That dip at the base of his neck finally started to fill in.

Training 3:  72%, First 1:  68%

We had a schooling show to end the season with our highest scores ever.  We learned a new way to go into the ring, removing the tension and drama.  I FINALLY found a western saddle so we can branch out into a new discipline.  We started to reintroduce Second level movements and collection with a focus on lightness and suppleness.  Theo discovered that he had stifles and that they could flex and push.

Goin' treeless

I also found that supplements called Ultrafire are not to be added casually.

Demon horse

I discovered that Theo is his own beast.  He hasn't read the books or watched the clinics.  I can't just do what someone says.  German, French, classical, competitive, none of them are the answer.  With him, I have to find my own way.  With compromise and a hell of a lot of cookies, he will try his heart out for me.  He really is more of a mare than most mares.

Our two phase with a dressage score of 27

2017 was not the show year I'd planned.  Instead we had some holes in our training shoved into my face and I had to tear part of the foundation down and rebuild.  It wasn't easy and wasn't even fun, but in the end, we are moving forward again.  This time, we're moving forward in a correct way.  My horse has learned to relax and follow the contact as opposed to bracing and locking me out.  With that, I can ask him to step underneath himself and lift his back.  I ask with a touch and he answers.  Slowly, very slowly, the spurs and heavy contact are being replaced by lightness.

Bringing 2017 to a close

2017 was a foundation year.  I want 2018 to be the pay out for all of the hours spent in 2017 building up that foundation.  We both learned a whole new way of going.  We both got our perspectives rearranged.  We both spent some time not wanting to see the other one, but we're back to him cantering up to the gate when I call for him.

Still the most fashionable pair in the barn

So here's to 2018.  May it be a year of new adventures and new milestones for this very stubborn, opinionated, goofy, adoring pair.

And may I develop some selfie skills

Baby it's cold outside

This morning my phone was lit up with alerts for wind chill. 

I am going to go a whole week without going to the barn.  Theo isn't going to do any work for the whole week.  I'm already feeling withdrawal setting in.  On the bright side, it means my poor left shoulder will get a week to properly heal after Sunday's dramatics.  And it was feeling so good!  I was sleeping normally (no little pillow under my shoulder), full range of motion, normal strength.  And then boom, papi.

I'm trying to focus on the positives.  My shoulder will recover.  A break won't do Theo any harm and will probably do him some good to stave off ring sourness.  I'll also be sure that there is no lingering muscle soreness anywhere.  And I'll know the Ultrafire is out of his system.  -_-

With the fidgets and withdrawal setting in, I'm trying to think of ways to keep myself occupied and feel like I'm making progress.

I'm getting my new saddle conditioned and the fenders turned in the comfort of my living room.  I love the color now that the leather has been fed.

I am diligently hitting the treadmill in preparation for not one, not two, not three, but FOUR races coming up.  Little ones, to be sure, but goals are important.  Especially when the weather is this demotivating.  I'm up to 20 minute jogs (at 4 mph I think they're actually shuffles) and per my Fitbit, down 7.2 pounds since November 28th.  That puts my total loss around seventeen pounds.  This means I should probably start shopping for breeches.  Mmmmm, shopping.

I'll binge on my Dr. Klimke videos and read my Mary Wanless book.  Mostly I'll rest my shoulder and let my horse be a hairy, untamed yak for a bit.  We'll both be eager to pick up again when my vacation starts on the 9th.  Assuming the weather rebounds the way it's forecasted to, I'll pop in some extra jumping lessons and get us both back in the groove.

In the meantime, I'm thanking my lucky stars that my horse is at a boarding facility.  Every time my job drives me up a wall, I remind myself that this is how I can afford to NOT bring water to my horse in a -5 windchill.  Best motivation around.

Winter break

At a certain point, you accept the inevitable.  I am merely mortal.  I have limits.

I am not riding in this nonsense.

NOPE.

Trainer A rides today, I'm planning to do some walk/in hand work in my lesson Wednesday afternoon, but then he's just getting a week off.  What's the point of even trying to ride when I'll be hovering around 0 as soon as the sun starts to set?  I have a general policy of not actually working a horse once you hit 10*, it's just not worth the risk.  Seems more humane to give him the week off.  This weather is just not normal for NH.  Our average high is 33* for this time of year.

And I'm a wimp.  It's okay, I'm coming to terms with it.

So today he gets his grain cut in half so he doesn't blow up to the size of a house during his mini-vacation.  I'll be visiting to manage blankets, but he isn't going to want me to groom him or do anything that involves his blankets coming off in that weather.  He'll have his field, shed, and neighbors.  I'm taking some time off from work starting on the 9th and that will be a good time to get him legged back up and into full work again.  

Can you believe I've got a race on Jan 1?  BRRRRR.  Good thing it's only a mile.