I need to make a memo for myself, and tattoo it somewhere I'll always see it when I'm riding. The trick is that there's nowhere I can see a tattoo, especially in winter. The only skin exposed is my face, and I can't exactly see that. I could probably staple it to my gloves, I'm certainly not forgetting those in the dead of winter. Temperatures have been dipping down to zero in the mornings, and I'm not a big fan of frost bite.
But as to the memo, what would it say? To paraphrase, it would say, 'SETTLE DOWN AND WAIT'.
Being impatient is a major flaw of mine. I'm willing to acknowledge that and try to work around it. I know I can do Beginner Novice, and probably a good bit bigger than Beginner Novice. I know Fiona can do Beginner Novice, and probably a good bit bigger than Beginner Novice. So why can't we do it together? Why are we still jumping the exact same height we were jumping in September?
Patience is a virtue. I remember going through this phase with my previous horse when he got fit enough to feel good, but he wasn't strong enough to properly balance himself. We went through a phase of scaring everyone with bolting at fences and not being able to stop. My future open jumper was stuck at the two foot division, and it was downright embarrassing. Not for my horse, but for me. Being taken off with and getting rails at two foot on a seventeen hand horse is hard on the ego.
Sometimes I forget what this is about. This isn't about what division she'll do this summer, or whether or not she can canter fences, or if I end up skipping a showing season. This is about her whickering when I come out to visit her, this is about making peppermint cookies for her (and trashing my kitchen), this is about having a perfect canter depart and making a huge fuss over her while everyone else stares like I've grown another head. I have to remind myself, this is about neck skritches and hugs and little conversations no one else hears. Fiona doesn't care if she goes higher than Beginner Novice, and it's not like another year would hurt either of us. We'll get there, eventually.
I just need to be patient.
Also good advice for my jumping position. Uggh.