Reality check

It's easy to get carried away with things, at least it's easy for me.  I got back into riding and almost immediately stumbled onto Theo.  We hit it off, I got a half lease, and away we went.  After so many years of horse ownership, I'm used to having a single partner.  Catch rides are fantastic, but you still have that horse that you consider to be your partner.

Theo had his check up with the farrier this morning.  Farrier said that, based on the position on Theo's heel where he was sore, he'd knocked himself in the field.  He was fine for turn out and to ride.  I got the text and zipped out after work.  I've got a show this weekend and two days off was plenty for a pony with so many opinions.

He looked uncomfortable in the aisle, like he was shifting his weight off of his heel, but I told myself to stop being paranoid.  I tacked up and headed to the ring.  At the trot, there was no way to deny it.  Theo was head bobbing lame still.  I don't ride head bobbing lame horses that I know aren't arthritic or fighting off any kind of chronic issue.  This is an acute injury, so I got the heck off of the horse and led him back up.  I had to describe the situation several times, each one including replying to a variation of 'but the farrier said'.  Yeah, I know, the farrier said he's fine.  I say he's not.

If I owned Theo, I'd be buckling down for the hand walking and soaking and everything else that goes with a hoof injury.  Instead, I don't see him again until Saturday.  He's not my horse.  He's a half lease in the school.  He's managed by the barn, not me.  My opinion on treatment isn't really needed.  I don't have lessons or lease days until Saturday, so I'm at home, twiddling my thumbs and thinking far too much about whether or not I have a show this weekend.  It's bugging the hell out of me.  I would rather be carting around the hot water and fighting to keep his foot packed and wrapped.  At least I'd know what was going on and be part of fixing it.  Instead, I guess I'll see how he's doing on Saturday.  I hate it.

I know I moved too fast, got carried away and forgot that he's not actually my horse.  Saddles and fly sheets and grand plans that are all based on a horse that, in the end, I have no control over.  It really smacked me in the face today and I had no choice but to stop and look at the situation.  A lot of money and time being invested in a situation that is transient.  I don't even know what the plan is for that foot, or if he's on any meds.  Most riders would prefer it this way, knowing that if the horse goes lame they'll just ride someone else for awhile.  I feel like I'm clawing at the inside of a cage.  I can't help but feel like I made a huge mistake buying the new saddle, considering he went lame before I could even have a second ride in it. 

It's going to be a long couple of days.  I'm bummed that yet another show has been canceled for us, and we don't have another opportunity until September.  It's sinking in, once again, that I don't play well with others and sharing is a bad idea.  I just don't know if I'm ready to fling myself back into full fledged horse ownership.