There are so many ups and downs that come with horses. One day it's like the world is perfect and nothing can go wrong. The next day, same horse, and all you can do is stare and wonder if you're ever, ever going to get it right. Any of it. This isn't even about Fiona, or any horse in particular. It's just the nature of the sport. There seems to be little middle ground. Either we cruise around, or we demolish a fence. So many teeny, tiny little things that can bring everything crashing down. You're out for a gallop, or you're hand walking.
I check her back and legs like I'm obsessed. Both before and after work. She's just coming back into work, I know that, but I can feel how weak she is behind. Sometimes it's hard to tell if she's just weak or sore or if something else is going on. She trips and I have a heart attack. It's probably not healthy, but I seriously want to wrap her up in bubble wrap.
There's a reason my trainer thinks I'm nuts.
I feel like I'm holding my breath, just waiting for the bomb to drop. That feeling started as soon as I signed the bill of sale and realized I owned a horse. From my previous horse, I'm pretty sure my reaction is temporary but highly annoying. I got out of practice with just how delicate a balancing act this can be. You want to go out and do things, and your horse agrees, but it comes with an element of risk. It's all a matter of planning and calculated risk taking. It's no different than when I decide to drive my car. That's a calculated risk, and I take measures to minimize the risk. The difference is that I've been driving almost every day of my life since I was sixteen. Fussing over a horse that I own is not something I have nearly as much practice with.
Remember that antacid I bought back when I started horse shopping? Started picking it up in bulk. I forgot about that aspect of horse ownership. At least this TB isn't sharing ulcer meds with me. Possibly the most food motivated horse I've ever met.
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