Falling out of love

I'm sure a lot of people saw this coming, but as a friend told me last night, it looks like I'm falling out of love with Trainer A.

I'm tired of having my lessons rescheduled and bounced around.  I'm tired of feeling like I need to question what I'm being told.  I'm tired of not being ready and not realizing it until I'm already at the show.  I'm definitely tired of feeling like I should hide at shows because I'm there with riders that aren't ready for what they're doing and it's embarrassing. 

It's an awkward situation.  I had a lesson this morning (7am because that was the only availability after my Saturday jumping lesson got cancelled) that wasn't at all positive.  Theo was giving me the stink eye about flexing and going forward at the same time.  It's our latest battle and one that will take awhile since he needs to develop a lot more muscle before it stops being a struggle.  He currently drops behind my leg and then bucks when I use the whip to reinforce my leg.  He'll flex, sure, but only if he can go slow.  He'll go forward so long as he isn't connected and flexing.  Combine the two and it's just too hard for him to deal with because he's a special little princess.

 Very, very special

She wanted me to open my inside rein and guide his muzzle in.  Not like a little bit, because yes, opening up my inside hand is a useful thing to do at times.  She wanted it way open.  I finally threw down and said no, I wouldn't, because I don't want him to break at the shoulder, I want him to break at the poll.  I lose control of the neck when I open my inside rein like that.  I have a very tiny target and I will never, ever get it with an open inside rein.  He's way too good at evading.  I have better results with a correction that's slightly indirect, then release, the way Mary told me to do it.  And if he doesn't give, get after him but you have to release every time.  No 'guiding', he flexes and stays there because he was told to, not because he's being 'guided'.  Sure enough, after a couple of reps, he started to give.  He was just being stubborn about it, trying to see if he could wear me out.  It's his favorite trick.  Once he started to give and chew, we were able to move on in the lesson.  And suddenly she was instructing me to use that half halt to get the flex instead of the open rein.  I think she was genuinely wrong and I'm just now figuring it out.

Theo and I are now pushing our ways through all of the struggles I probably should have had over the past two years.  Submission to the bit, submission to the leg, impulsion, not bucking to get out of work, etc.  The stuff he is most resistant on.  No, do not tell me to slow the tempo right now, I want his hind legs to snap.  I can always slow this horse down, now I need to teach him to pick up the tempo when I ask.  I need both sides of the pendulum.  He's pulling through my left rein, my left shoulder has failed, I need to try something else.  But there's nothing else she can give me to try.  Don't tell me to pick his head up, he'll retract his neck and brace.  Downtown is his home, he only gets to come up when he's relaxed, hauling his head up isn't going to get him off his shoulders all by itself.

I don't like this.  I don't like change, but I also don't like having two disparate views.  And after bumping into Mary at the show where Theo was carting his leaser around, I watched her adult ammy warm up.  She was prepared.  She was very prepared for the level.  Her horse was together and ready to go.  Not perfect, the indoor was super scary!  But definitely prepped and ready to go lay down a trip.  Her student was confident in the work and you could tell it was bread and butter for them.

As my friend said last night, that's what showing is supposed to be.  Not an exercise in survival.  And she was pleased to hear that I was finally remembering that.  Theo may be a half cart horse mutt (or a short angry goat as he was dubbed over beers, another story for another post), but he's a correct mover and perfectly capable of good scores at the lower levels.  Good scores being upper 60's.  If I'm not consistently getting upper 60's at Training, what the hell did I think I was doing at First?  Don't blame the horse, the horse is fine.  You just weren't ready.

Totally not ready and got a 57% to prove it

This is the same friend that tore into me about the spur rubs.  It's important to have educated, honest horse friends.  I wish she didn't live so far away, she'd come out and chase me with a lunge whip to inspire forward any day.  That's a real horse friend.

The realization is settling in and I'm still shifting my viewpoint to this new reality.  I haven't really figured out what to do.  I don't want to change barns, Mary's barn is too fancy and far away so I'd still be trailering out for lessons.  Most barns want you to be in a program with them.  Theo is happy at his barn, with his shed and field and 24/7 turn out and pony to beat up.  I may just need to take a break from my weekly lessons and training ride, take responsibility for my horse's training back.  He'd still have his leaser, but be mostly my problem.

I really hate change.  This may take awhile.  But the process is getting started.

Definition of good

I'm not sure if my horse was good or not.  It's a weird sensation.

His leaser had done one, maybe two shows in her life.  When I heard she was signed up to do Training 1 and Training 2 at a sanctioned dressage show, I was rather surprised.  Really?  I thought it was a schooling show.  Steering and going is still a bit spotty.  But hey, it's a dressage show.  It should be fine.

But of course, Theo is his own beast.  He goes or he doesn't.  It doesn't matter what you do.  If he's not in the mood, you can forget it.  He jumps out of rings, spins, bucks, and generally does what he wants.  With me, he's figured out his job.  With Trainer A, he's sorted out enough of a relationship to go in and do his job, though it's still a bit spotty in places.  With his leaser?  Well, it's a much less balanced relationship.  She tells him to do things, and he usually does.  Because he likes cookies and pets and ear rubs and she doesn't ask him to do anything hard.  She demands nothing.

On Sunday, she asked him to do something hard and I wanted to puke because I was on the sidelines and could do nothing to help.  He'd never been to this show.  The whole thing was rather overwhelming for his leaser with a big, sweeping facility and official show secretary stuff.

He handled warm up like a champ.  Absolute champ.  Even when a horse nearly mowed him down, he coped and didn't give her a bit of trouble.  For that alone, we're all grateful.  She'd never done a warm up like that and the fact he let her manage traffic while he minded his manners?  Priceless.

Test one, he walked in very nicely.  Gave her one spook on the outside, but went down centerline like a champ.  He gave her one real spook heading toward C in the canter, but she booted him along and he coped.  The test was overall good with some piloting errors.  Her circles were too small, her focus points out of whack in the large arena.  He started to canter at one point, thinking he was doing a First level test.  Otherwise, he was very good.  He got a 57%, which was a fair score when her geometry was out of whack.  She came out smiling because she's pulled it off.

After a break we went back for test two.  Lo and behold, papi was tired and didn't want to play.  I knew because when we went to head down, he bulged out the left shoulder and tried to turn around.  He only does that when he's decided he's done.  Shit.  SHIT.  His leaser hasn't seen that behavior.  It's not easy to manage.  If you overcorrect, he explodes.  If you ignore it, he leaves.  You have to finesse him along.  Or correct him and take the explosion.

Trainer A was reading for his leaser and was able to casually walk with her into the ring.  Since they both had to go the same way, right?  And it was an opportunity class, everyone wanted her to have a good day.  When he started to refuse to go around the outside, his leaser did a great job of sitting through it and Trainer A quietly talked her through it.  They went down center line, halted, and he tried to turn again.  She booted him along, won the argument, and finished her test.  Steering errors and a seriously wonky entrance cost her points, but 54% is a lot better than an E.  She seriously needs to practice 20m circles in a large arena.  Theo defaults to 15m now and, well, he gets to drive a lot more with her than he does with me.

So was he a good boy?  I dunno.  Trainer A was pretty livid at his stunt at the start of the second test.  He's done so many shows, he has no excuse for that nonsense.  However, having sat and managed so much of what he can throw, he really didn't throw anything at her.  He was a bit spooky on one, a bit baulky on another.  For him?  That was pretty dang minor.

She has no connection or real control over his body.  It was a wake up call for me, how much he relies on me taking control and telling him to focus, that I had things under control, that he was safe because I say so.  He's brave because I am.  His leaser doesn't have that relationship with him yet.  He went around the ring out of nothing but the goodness of his heart.  The fact that he has a 'goodness of his heart' is actually quite new.

Was he good?  For him, yes.  He didn't try to dump her, attack anyone, bronc, spin, or be dangerous.  He was a bit of a jerk instead of a dangerous horse.  Was he good for most horses?  No.  He was looky in his first test and flat out quit on the second one.  I feel proud of his leaser that she managed him, got him turned around, and rode with finesse beyond her experience.

Will she show him again?  Yes, absolutely, she actually enjoyed herself.  He packed her through the parts she found scary and she didn't get rattled by his behaviors.  Because she walked in, he didn't have the power to explode outside of the ring.  She's scheduled to do a two phase with 18" fences in October.  That gives us a month or so to teach her the basics of managing Theo when he's trying to look around.  I didn't want to give her a scare before her show, but now, I think she's ready to have a bomb proofing lesson.  She realized she didn't have the right tools when he started to look because he never looks at home.  So time to add a new tool for her.

She's excited to take that next step in being a rider, to start learning to manipulate her horse's body.  So yeah, I think Sunday was a win.  And I think he was a good boy.  As good as can be expected from mi papi.

Two phase pic spam

Turns out that I did have a photographer for my two phase show.  With no further ado, mi papi at our two phase at Beginner Novice!

First off, the dressage phase where we got a 27 despite him throwing a temper tantrum due to a water truck being in the wrong place.  He sure doesn't look like a brat, does he.

I love this picture.  I love this picture so much. 

And then on to the jumping phase.  My pony's got hops!  No courage, but lots of hops.

After refusing the red oxer, I guess this counts as turning off the outside rein? 

Get over it, papi!  Also, Catie, don't jump ahead when your horse is stopping, do you want to die?

Holy crap, Theo, it's 2'6", not 3'6"!

 Kind of flaily on take off on my part, but it was a super nice, straight, forward line from mi papi and you can see that he's just toying with this height

Flaws he has, but he is certain photogenic.

BFFs

There you are

The thing I love about my horse is that he is, 99% of the time, very safe.  Even when he's being a jackass, there's a good chance I can make him stop.  I own nothing but snaffles.

And then he goes and pulls a bronco seemingly out of nowhere.  And then Trainer A rides him and texts me saying 'he was a total pig'.

We talked during a lesson on Wednesday and on Monday, she was so frustrated with him she could barely see straight.  All of their progress, right out the window.  All he wanted to do was stomp his feet and pull on the reins.  He also took a shot at her, which he hasn't done in almost a year.

A year, you say?  Oh what a coincidence.  I told her about my posts from one year ago and how he has his little temper tantrum each year at this time.   And the look on her face was classic.  All of a sudden she remembered last year at this time and what a puke he was.  She said she put him on the lunge line on Tuesday before she got on and he put on quite a show of bucking and squealing.  Then she got on and he was a lot less piggish, just stuck and not wanting to flex evenly.

Today I got on with the goal of forward, forward, forward.  Not the nose out forward I'd used in the past.  I still wanted my connection, but I was not going to let him keep stomping his feet and being a brat.  The absolute best thing for him in this mood is to break through the resistance and let the energy out.  With Trainer A's work to get the bucks out (while I was stuck working late), I got my horse back today.  He started with some head shaking and generally unsociable behavior but once he got up in front of my leg, he was back.

Flex in both directions, stop, start, steer.  Only one kick out and that was for the whip.  We had some more evasions than usual, but nothing dramatic.  He was back to work today.  Trainer A and I were both completely relieved to see that, in the end, all he needed was a chance to get the temper tantrum out of his system with the dropping temps.

With his schoolmaster gig this Sunday, he'll lunge again on Saturday to make sure all bucks are out.  He'll be ridden every day (sometimes twice) until the show to make sure nothing builds up.  And then I just have to believe that he knows his job.  He'll go in that ring, trot down center line, and sigh because he knows what to do.  He's a dressage horse and he understands the sandbox.

I'd forgotten how stressed out I get when I let people show my horse.  Please, please, papi, be a good boy.  Good boys get cookies, days off, and lazy hacks.

Patterns

We've been here before.  In 2015, we were having the abscess wars, so I had no idea what was Theo and what was the fact that we were fighting lameness for two months.  August 30th of that year did have this post, though. August 26, 2016 we had this.  It appears that when the heat breaks and the first hints of fall show up, Theo loses his gods damned mind.  The heat broke a little early this year, it's been gorgeous out.

Wednesday he was a bit up with his leaser, giving her some trouble on his trail ride.  Nothing dirty, but it was her first introduction to 'stud mode' and that's always interesting.  I rode him Thursday night and he gave me a big head shake and little strike with the front feet when he was corrected for throwing his shoulders.  He generally overreacted to corrections and was heavy in the bridle.  Huh.

I already wrote up my lesson where he was a bit temperamental and distracted.  Quick with the front feet, quick to bite, stomping his feet in his work, not wanting to go forward, oooooh, I know what this is.  Mary chased him forward into the big work he needed and he was jello afterward.  He was good on Saturday for his leaser since he was tired from our lesson.  Today it was my turn for a bit of cross training.  The plan for the day was a long trail ride with lots of hill work.  We never made it to the trails.

He was fine when I brought him in, but I noted he was a bit rude about his blanket coming off.  Old bad behaviors resurfacing.  Yeah, no, nipping this in the bud.  Ground work was a go.  I swung on afterward and headed out.  The Ritz was open so I decided to do two laps of hill work in each direction before setting out.  Staying home turned out to be a good call.  He was just up, distracted, looky, and generally not interested in my input.  Several times he did his little mare squeal buck combo.  Most horses work down, papi tends to work up until I get to the bottom of the problem, so the ride got more challenging as we went.  He didn't want to flex correctly, he wanted to crane his head and look outside of the circle.  He didn't want to put his head down and power up the hills, he wanted to look like a giraffe.  He didn't want to go forward unless it was a bolt.

He finally let go and gave me an all out bronc once we were jumping some little logs. I went to collect him coming off of a downhill and he just threw a huge fit.  Jump buck jump buck jump while grunting and squealing.  What the actual fuck, papi.  Then he braced his legs and dared me to kick him again.

I had a split second of wanting to get the hell off of that horse because he was looking to toss me.  He's got a big damn bronc and I was so thankful I had him in my jumping tack where I can ride through it without the saddle fighting me.  But if I got off, who else was going to get on?  I knew that would be the worst possible move.  He was being a bully and trying to scare me.  Last time he pulled this, I didn't have a full set of tools.  This time, I was ready.  Want to have a hissy when I use my leg?  Let's see you buck while your legs are crossing.  Turn on the forehand, disengage the hind quarters, drop your head and flex.  Now turn on the haunches, marching, get your head down.  Go forward, go forward right the fuck now.  Now leg yield.  Halt, back up, half passe, trot off in a steep shoulder in.

It completely stopped the cycle.  Theo seriously didn't know what to do with that response.  He would try to scoot, but he was going sideways and it just made things harder for him.  I can control his shoulders now.  He'd try to throw them and I shove him back the other way.  He tried to tear through the reins but I already had his number.  He balked and I could safely kick him through it.  He was rip shit, but he didn't have a lot of choices.  He was so relieved to go straight ahead that he didn't try to fling his shoulders and bolt.  If he started to be an ass, he went sideways.  He didn't want to go sideways any more, so he'd settle.  Then I'd trot forward quietly and leave him be.

Once the lesson was jammed into his tiny pony brain, we jumped the two logs on a soft feel, no bucks, stopped straight.  Long rein, many cookies, and long walk to cool out.  He was blowing hard.  The whole ride had been up and down hill, working on uneven footing.  He's going to have a sore tush tomorrow, I expect.  I was going to feel bad for him, but when I turned him out, he had a bucking, farting gallop.  I guess I didn't find the bottom of it.

Should be tired.  He's not.

His leaser has her first real dressage show on Sunday.  FML.

I have to find the bottom of Theo before Saturday.  Fortunately this nonsense usually only lasts a week or two, we should already be managing the worst of it.  It just means that there will be a whole lot of sweaty saddle pads this week as we work through it.  It's not evasion or naughty, he just feels really good with the heat gone and needs to get it out.  At least this time I have all of the tools installed so I can short circuit the behavior before he crosses the line into dangerous.  We'll tag team him this week, get those energy levels down and ride him outside as much as possible.  I can't give him the gallop he needs when he's unrideable, but I need to gallop him hard to get the bucks out of him.  Oh, what a quandary.

I'm going to try to squeak in an extra lesson this week to get a tune up on his ground manners with our natural horsemanship trainer.  Chain shank/rope halter/bridle and dressage whip for at least a week to make sure this stays under control.  He's so damn fast with those front feet when he's like this.

He's lucky he's cute and only pulls this nonsense once a year.

Push

I knew I was jinxing myself, posting about how my horse is so good with the trailer and how well it's been going.  I got up on Friday to absolute downpour.  The forecast was for the rain and storms to continue all day and into the night.  Local flood advisories were going up.  But my lesson was already scheduled and I'd already taken the afternoon off from work.  Hell or high water (literally), I was going to my lesson.

I budgeted a lot of extra time since I figured the drive would be slow.  I arrived at the barn and tried to back into the paved parking lot.  Nope, not going to happen when it's raining so hard that my back up camera and mirrors are borderline useless.  It's an angle going down hill over uneven terrain, the trailer just was not going straight and I didn't want to hit the rock wall.  I gave up and went to my usual turn around spot.  I didn't want to turn my truck around in a pasture in the pouring rain, so I tried to turn around by backing out.

I'll just skip to the part where I got myself so tangled up that I ended up between two paddocks with no wiggle room and a horse laughing at me.  About this point, I realized that I am really not that good with the trailer yet, especially when all of my mirrors are useless.  I extricated myself enough to point my hood at the Ritz, opened the gate, apologized to Trainer A, and turned around in the Ritz like the rookie driver I am.  With four wheel drive the truck had no problem with it and fortunately left only one small mark.

I got all of my junk moved to my trailer without getting it too drenched.  I pulled in my rather wet horse, cleaned him up as best I could, and let the summer campers rub his ears while I put on his shipping boots.  I tried to wait for a break in the rain, but it just kept coming down harder.  I finally gave up, grabbed my horse, and headed down to my trailer.  Important note here:  I couldn't find a chain shank anywhere, so I went with a regular lead.  And his regular halter.

I dropped the ramp, said 'Up-up!', and walked him up.  He got his front feet on the ramp, stopped and backed up.  Huh.  He does that sometimes.  I shrugged, turned, and started over.  Nope.  He suddenly decided that he does not know anything about loading into a trailer.

I did figure out that it was the absolutely torrential rain on the roof of the trailer.  It sounded like a freight train in there and papi wanted no part of that.  But I had a lesson to go to, so we spent about fifteen minutes getting his butt on that trailer.  I eventually got some help so they could grab the butt bar (and lend me a chain shank).  I was ten minutes behind schedule, absolutely drenched, and my horse was throwing a temper tantrum in his trailer.  Great.

I hit the road, dropping down as far as 35mph in a 65 zone when the rain was just unbelievable.  And all the cars around me were doing the same, so I know it's not just me.  I managed to still make it to the lesson with 20 minutes to tack up.  Mary is really sweet and let me park my wet, upset horse in the aisle to tack up.

After all of that drama, I was not expecting much from my lesson.  And Theo has been rather studish this week.  I think the mares are cycling and I looked back at my August entries for the past two years.  He always acts up this time of year.  It's little things, like being a bit too quick with those front feet and looking to bite when we'd mostly stopped that behavior.  He didn't want to focus and was giving me little temper tantrums while I walked and warmed up for Mary.

In the end, we had another good lesson.  Once he stretched and started working, it was okay.  It wasn't his best, but as Mary said, she doesn't want to see him at his best.  She can help more if he's at his worst. And as Theo's worst is being distracted and some head shakes, I think Mary is starting to actually like him.  She was very happy with our work on stretching and the much more honest, even connection.  She tested us with some leg yields and while we've got work to do, he can now leg yield neatly without bracing through his neck and throwing his head up.

Our new focus is going to be the push.  He doesn't have enough thrust right now.  His neck is now lovely, the connection is an actual thing, so now we're putting all attention on the hind end.  A lovely connection is worthless if there's no energy coming forward.  She described him as having this big gap in the middle and the energy isn't cycling from the hind to the bridle.  It has to cycle or nothing works right.  His trot is currently his natural gait, the one he chooses.  It's not a working trot.  He needs more push and not because I'm begging him.

First exercise was a lengthen canter right into a 10m canter circle.  Papi did not like that much.  The reasoning was that he doesn't have enough oomph to do a 10m canter circle right now unless he comes in with some extra power.  Getting him to come back without breaking to trot is doubly hard when he's in a bad mood and wants to suck behind my leg and stomp his feet.

Mary nodded, got up, and picked up a lunge whip.  Wuh oh.  20m circle, trot - canter - trot, with a little outside influence to get him in front of my leg without me begging for it.  She wanted me to feel the correct transition with no hop or head pop.  I have to say, the powerful, correct transition?  That's something worth working for.  It felt awesome, and frankly, I think Theo enjoyed it himself.  Once he was actually up in front of my leg, we went large.  Mary would get behind him in the corner and help drive him forward into a lengthen trot.  And we never came back down.  We just added and added, pushing him to really find what he can do.

By the end, he was over tracking by about half a hoof print.  Mary's sure he's got a medium in him which by her definition is overtracking by a lot (it looked like a foot, she put her hands up about that far apart), he just has to find it.  He was puffing hard after that trot work.  I can't remember the last time I felt him stretch and push like that and certainly not down a whole long side.  I may have never felt it before.  I can't do it on my own currently, he just says no.  So we have been assigned fitness for our homework.  Yes, work on the connection and softness and transitions, but mostly go forward.  Not our current forward.  More forward.  Still more forward.  Take him out for a gallop, do hill work, jump, raised trot poles.  Anything that gets him forward and using his hind end.  He's too weak right now, he needs to be stronger and his cardio needs to be better.

Well, gee, that I can do.  That I know.  And I'm sure Trainer A will be more than delighted to chase us with a lunge whip to assist with our trot sets.  Gallops and hill work and gymnastics are a go!

I told her about our schooling show and getting an 8 on a stretchy circle.  She said 'See?  Stick with me, kid, I'll get you through this'.  She also reiterated that I'm not to show First right now.  When I go back to First, she wants us completely confirmed in the bridle, in the impulsion, and in the movements.  I will be going back into the ring to win, not to get a 60%.  Which is kind of a new world for me.  Me?  And Theo?  Winning at shows in New England?  I'd never considered that.

This is what I needed.  This is so simple for her.  She's been doing this longer than I've been alive and for her, getting a perfectly reasonable horse ready to go First is bread and butter.  Well worth driving through a monsoon.

State of the papi

I feel like I've been super focused on my training updates and haven't been putting enough attention on the actual star of the blog.  If someone had read just the past three weeks or so, you'd think a certain someone is some sort of serious business dressage horse that is heavily schooled.

Yeah, not so much.

Mi papi is doing very well.  We still have a schedule of 3 dressage schools a week, including shows and lessons.  All other rides are hacks, fitness, babysitting his leaser, or jumping lessons.  Sometimes jumping lessons take the place of one of his dressage schools.  The bugs are still awful, but we cope.  Okay, we bitch wildly and go way too fast on the trails.  It's a form of coping.

Theo's getting a level of spoiling that shouldn't be healthy.  With summer camp going on, Trainer A has munchkins to groom, tack, bathe, and turn Theo out on his training ride day.  Theo is awfully pretty and friendly, so it's not a quick process.  There are much worse things in life than having a couple of little girls brushing his tail and rubbing his ears (because his owner showed them all how to do it correctly).  His leaser bought him the giant bag of Crack Cookies.  It's huge.  It takes up an obscene amount of space in my locker.  Theo is pretty sure she's the bestest leaser ever.

I've been taking the extra time to groom him till he's sound asleep with his lip drooping at least once a week and I'm trying for twice.  It takes me a full hour to groom him when I go all in.  He's got liniment and massaging and moisturizing the corners of his mouth and treating his hooves and . . . you get the idea.

He's been getting some days with two ponies for company and three fields to romp in.  Clearly one pony and one field wasn't enough.  To give his field some more time to grow in, he's been on established pastures with his tiny companions.

They make quite the trio.  Theo's not a friendly horse, but he has been spotted playing tag with the ponies and even letting them chase him.  Sometimes.  I'm happier when he's getting extra socialization and I'm sure he is too, even if the socialization is making sure they understand that everything is his.  Everything.

Soon the bugs will be gone and my new trailer will be put to much more enjoyable use.  My friends from my previous barn are clamoring for me to go trail riding with them.  I think it's a fantastic idea.  Just a couple more weeks until the bugs are gone.

In the meantime, we'll work on some other skills.

Respecting a stall guard is a very important skill.  So is posing for the camera.

We're still working on that one.

Theo still drags me down to the ring and, despite our recent challenges, gets to work with minimal fuss.  He's spoiled rotten almost beyond words and hardly anybody can remember the days when he was the hated school horse.  Yes, his trailering schedule has been rather intense and I'm asking for more out of him than he's ever seen, but he seems to think we have a pretty good deal going on.  I annoy him for about an hour, but there's lots of cookies and pets in it for him.  And then a massage, his tail brushed out, and Crack Cookies before going out to torment his very own ponies.

It's good to be the papi.